I had a neighbour who embalmed his own wife.
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I'm built different
Wrong I presume?
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I'm really good at operating vehicles and other heavy machinery while on LSD, it doesn't significantly impair my coordination or reflexes. Delivered pizzas, drove a forklift once, and left more than a handful of underwhelming/unpleasant trip parties without having to wait til I came down. I suspect it's a combination of my particular neurodivergence plus a lot of practice gaming while tripping, hard to prove though.
Or at least, you think you do.
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The "Why?" is a spoiler, i didn't realize it at first too, just was bold text in voyager.
And you are right, ir also could have been a decrepit german with the name shepard lol
Or a shepherd that's an elderly German man I guess lol
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Just to make this clear. I have completely dealt with all the shit I went through during that time and I have completely processed everything. I have accepted it as a part of my history and I Am completely fine with it. Theres nothing left to talk about in order to learn something about myself that I dont already know. I seriously dont see a single point where this is ever going to cause any problems in my future life.
You don't know that, you most likely pushed it down and covered it up, because that's what people with trauma do. That's not processing it. The scary part isn't what you can imagine / see causing the problems, it's what you can't imagine.
But at the end of the day it's your life, do what you want
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No matter what I do for self-care, my toenails are very sharp. I have accidentally made deep cuts on my own feet as well as others many times.
Yeah mine are like that. I got a 10 cm gash in my leg while I was sleeping.
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You don't know that, you most likely pushed it down and covered it up, because that's what people with trauma do. That's not processing it. The scary part isn't what you can imagine / see causing the problems, it's what you can't imagine.
But at the end of the day it's your life, do what you want
I devinetively didnt suppressed it. I did in fact thought quite a lot about it and also talked about it with people. The process of me processing that time also wasn't something that was a week or so, but it did in fact took quite some time.
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I devinetively didnt suppressed it. I did in fact thought quite a lot about it and also talked about it with people. The process of me processing that time also wasn't something that was a week or so, but it did in fact took quite some time.
"People" doesn't mean a mental health proffessional. But again, you do you.
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I don't know if it's scary, but in the absolute core of my existence i just need my life to stop sooner rather than later.
I've always been a bit suicidal leaning but when i was stopped i never had the courage to try again.
Every single day my mind tells me "would've been better if you did, it's all a big shitshow anyway" it never misses a day. I keep telling myself to not listen to it but i do agree.
I had a certain circumstance a couple yeara ago where i was close to dieing and it brought me peace...i felt calm and became accepting of what was to come (despite the intense pain). Wife calles an ambulance which they refused to send as we were too calm for it to be believable, so we took a taxi and that's when they got to see the pain i was in and realized time was running out quick.
Bla bla bla etc etc, i got sent home a while later and the same pain returned...excruciating bone wrenching all encompassing pain and all my mind had to add was: "if this is real, just go to sleep and you won't have to wake up again".
And i did, despite this absolute tormenting pain i fell asleep so peacefully and convinced of it all ending...it was such a relief.
But i woke up after...shit.
That's the darkest corner of my existence.
That's a wild ride. Hopefully you're at least pain free now.
I don't love the idea of continuing on, but I'm not suicidal. Let's just say, if things were to end suddenly, I'm ok with that. I'll see you all later (or not, who knows?).
As long as my life isn't constant torture, I'm ok continuing on, as long as I'm able to help those that I care about. They're my reason.
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Wait a second people genuinely think magenta is pink?
Commonly it's thought of as between red and purple. I don't know where pink comes from.
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I do a band count before I start peeing into the toiletβ¦.
βA-one, a-two, a-one-two-three-four!β peeeeeeeeeeeee
I then usually start singing a tv show theme song like Happy Days as I keep the flow going. Disturbed yet?
I sing the alphabet in French.
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Clairvoyance runs in my family. Most specifically, my sister has predicted several deaths.
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I am in the same situation. "When I was a child I was the most unhinged asshole I know" is extremly common in this community and I have no clue why.
just a guess, but it could be because kids are dumb and we were all kids once trying to figure out the world with no experience. And then on top of that we tend to remember the cringe moments about ourselves even though those moments were likely an after thought to those around us.
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Hopefully you don't kill anybody else when it finally happens
You can sleep soundly, my driving skills and reflexes will continue being unreasonably good for another 2 or 3 decades at least, and I doubt I'll still be driving myself anywhere by that point
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Wrong I presume?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Oh most definitely, ADHD+autism, in exchange for absurd skill acquisition and long-term info retention I have horrible short-term memory, intense executive dysfunction, depression, although that last one has been a lot better since I transitioned. Turns out one of the things that was wrong with my brain was an estrogen deficiency lol
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Oh most definitely, ADHD+autism, in exchange for absurd skill acquisition and long-term info retention I have horrible short-term memory, intense executive dysfunction, depression, although that last one has been a lot better since I transitioned. Turns out one of the things that was wrong with my brain was an estrogen deficiency lol
You forgot the grandiosity.
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You forgot the grandiosity.
Recognizing and honestly assessing your own strengths and weaknesses isn't "grandiosity", calm down
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Or at least, you think you do.
If I wasn't right about it I wouldn't have a flawless driving record
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I don't know. It's more like a time reference than a consequence of.
Gotcha, I am sorry to hear. Hopefully you find freedom and joy during the coming challenges
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given selokichtli already responded i'll chip in as well.
it's honestly quite hard to give an exact answer, but life has definitely not felt the same ever since the lockdowns hit.late 2019 to like 2023 and even early 2024 flew by very fast for me. i can't even really remember much from that period and i'm not sure whether it's a direct consequence of the above, or maybe it's from COVID brain fog (i'm not even sure if i had COVID in the first place)
in any case things have felt off since the lockdowns. not to mention how much the internet has changed ever since LLMs got rolled out.
ok, thank you for responding, my memories of 2020 are very fast too, I did not notice until now
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You can't just drop that with no details!
I was working in the crematory, and accidentally cut myself. I was rushing to get some ashes transferred to another urn, because the family was waiting up front. Jabbed myself in the thumb with the wire cutters that we use to get the zip ties off of the bags that hold the ashes inside the urn. Cleaned it up and put a Band-Aid on it. Few days later it still hurt like crazy. I saw when I looked at it that there is a little bit of pus coming out. I squeezed it a little and a little short of bone popped out. Felt a lot better once it fell out!
