why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?

[wazzupdog@lemmy.blahaj.zone]

I seriously hope you mean this as a joke.

[bronzebeard@lemmy.zip]

The rules are not clearly presented when you're just scrolling through a generic AllPost feed. I've almost commented to one of these just the other day before realizing at the last second what community it was.

Also, when you're discussing men, especially negatively, and expect men to not jump in to defend themselves, that's a bit naive to think they'll stay out of it. Some of those threads can get really echo chamber and dogpile feeling.

And people would be throwing a shit fit if the genders were reversed here. I'm sure there are some bitter people out there that don't like the double standard. There seems to be a lot of overgeneralization where the bad behavior of a select few gets broadly painted onto the entire gender. This, again, has a double standard of being an acceptable thing to do, to the point that even within this thread someone is mocking others for pointing out "not all men" as a response.

[beigeagenda@lemmy.ca]

I saw a post, added a relevant wiki link, and then my comment was deleted, and that's fair enough as I didn't read the rules beforehand.

To reduce the constant barrage of mansplaining I suggest adding a sticky top level comment (or something better), or some sort of filter before a comment is added if possible.

[atro_city@fedia.io]

What's wrong with you? Are you OK hun?

[deathbybigsad@sh.itjust.works]

Please present yourself to JK Rowling's TERF Inspection Booth /s

[neidu3@sh.itjust.works]

Mod notice: semi-controversial but serious question has been raised about an actual issue. Keep it civil and stay classy.

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Or at least be tastefully funny about it.

EDIT:

[canadaplus@lemmy.sdf.org]

They're looking for a way to feel persecuted, probably.

[motoash@lemmy.world]

"The rules are clearly presented"

WRONG! Posts show up in aggregate lists. You know, like the main page of lemmy instances. Where individual community rules do not appear at all if someone clicks on the post directly. I bet a significant amount of the time, people do not even realize which community they're replying to posts in.

Don't like it? Maybe Lemmy needs a way to either remove communities from standard aggregate lists, or to force a popup of community rules when a post is navigated to for a first time viewer that hasn't even seen the community page. Then I'd totally understand being pissed off at first time rule violators.

[beigeagenda@lemmy.ca]

They use the UK way, where you film your private parts and then they can decide where you fit in.

[brucethemoose@lemmy.world]

It’s very often right in the title, AND the description, yet filled with men's comments.

[unmagical@lemmy.ml]

Or set the public instance to public discussion about women's stuff and set up a private instance with a women's only application process that is advertised on the public instance.

There's value in women's only spaces, and there's value in spaces for fathers, husbands, brothers, boyfriends, and sons to ask about women's stuff. By arranging the communities as described they can keep discoverability, exclusivity, AND can stop getting forbidden comments from the public on their public forum.

[brucethemoose@lemmy.world]

This I disagree with, as it’s an open community.

It’s read only to men.

But don’t post, yes. Period. That part is pretty simple.

[angryishhumanoid@lemmynsfw.com]

I kinda feel like you are intentionally missing the point of the feedback you are getting and pretending like any pushback you get is related to your one specific grievance despite people being pretty clear about what they are saying.

[brucethemoose@lemmy.world]

These comments…

what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

+1

Community rules are community rules, and you can either follow them or get banned from the community. How is ‘women only’ any different?

As for the excuse of visibility: the rule is very often in the title, and the initial post, yet not followed.

As for the excuse of how they can tell: well if they can’t, okay, you evaded detection. But posts very often declare “I’m a guy and this is my take…”

I honestly don’t get it, especially on an internet “refuge” like Lemmy where users should be sensitive to persecution and the importance of safe, moderated discussion spaces.

[klemptor@startrek.website]

You hope that men will recognize that this is a space not meant for them (which is often explicitly stated in the post body) and respectfully not comment. And those men that do comment but are respectful get politely asked not to comment again. And those men that comment and are rude or disrespectful get banned.

And some men do fly under the radar but a surprising number feel the need to start their comment with "As a man...".

[arkouda@lemmy.ca]

Thanks for providing a great reason to leave this community.

The OP has been hostile in the comments, and in their OP, violating Rule 1, and Rule 5.

Do better.

[klemptor@startrek.website]

Thank you for doing that - such a simple and kind thing to do!

[medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.world]

Make it a private group. If it shows up in the general list, it's a free and public spot.

[hddsx@lemmy.ca]

A few points:

1. It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

2. You once again flipped the discriminatory group and the group discriminatory against which is at best a misunderstanding and at worse malicious

3. You are STILL wrong and are mansplaining. You don’t need to insert yourself into women’s discourse. You are literally the type of person women’s only spaces are built to protect against. While yes, help from those who are not discriminated against definitely help the discriminated, that help comes in listening to what they have to say and support. Your expressed viewpoint is more or less: “I am very important and you should hear what I have to say because it is helpful”. You are, intentionally or not, giving subtle hints that you are better than women and that’s why you should be allowed to force your way into their discourse. In this day and age, we call that sexism.

Maybe that’s not your intention, but boy your writing is full of red flags

[facedeer@fedia.io]

There's no way to "force" anything, different clients are going to behave however they like. Maybe if you need that level of control the Fediverse isn't the right platform to begin with.