Do you have any rules you try to follow when engaging with others online?
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I had actually decided I'm not a fan of the Golden Rule for...reasons, and this is actually the first time I've heard that those reasons are referred to as the Platinum Rule. TIL.
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I think answering questions in the context of work is different, because then, yeah I agree, your goal isn't to answer their question, it's to solve their problem.
But if someone makes a thread asking "How do I serve a fileshare publicly", I think it's better to answer with something like, "Open this config, change these options, open these ports in your network, and restart these services. NOW, why do you want to do this? Because it might be a bad idea...etc." Assume that their usecase is private info, and that they are asking the question they mean to ask. Because when someone else who knows they need to do X comes searching for this thread later, you won't be able to ask about their use case.
I also made this adjustment in another comment, but I think at a minimum, if you're offering Y because you don't know how to do X, don't say "you shouldn't want to do X", instead be clear and say "I don't know how to do X, but Y might be an option for you". If no one reading the thread actually knows how to do X, then that's also useful info.
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I also follow this in offline interactions.
I'll engage if two of the three can be answered with a "yes".
1 - Is it kind?
2 - Is it true?
3 - Is it necessary?
For online-only conversations, assume that everything you say is public.
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If you have to absolutely, positively, immediately, reply right now for reasons .. don't.
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If I've tagged them as "DNE" (don't engage), then trust I tagged them for a reason and don't engage.
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Ted Lasso rule: Be curious, not judgemental. I try to give people the chance to explain themselves. I assume good faith. Even if I'm pretty sure I'm right, I allow for the possibility that I'm not or that I'm missing some relevant information.
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I wince when I hear people talk about putting everything on signal. It's like, you know if your using Google keyboard on Android, Apple devices, servers to transfer the data, and many others are listening in.
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Applies to emails, texts, pretty much any form of communication. Wait 20 minutes minimum before hitting send.
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The main rule I try to adhere to:
If I think someone who responded to my comment did not read the whole thing, I should not reply.
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For political disagreements, be wary of fruitless endeavors. 20 replies back and forth are pointless. Most of the time, my goal isn't to change that person's mind; it's to be the voice of disagreement so that others can either be exposed to my views and their rationalization or so that others who silently agree with me can see that these views aren't unpopular. After enough time passes, I tend to state that I'm disengaging because it's no longer going to catch the eye of many of these people.
In general, be courteous. Most people aren't assholes. Some people will have a bad day and maybe will take it out in you, but gently asking them to be courteous and not take their bad day out on you usually spurs some introspection and improves the interaction. If it doesn't, then they're really not mature enough to further engage with. Respect yourself and don't allow anybody excessive opportunity to ruin your day.
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Stupid question: Can I tag people here?
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Lemmy itself doesn't support user tags, but some of the clients like voyager, do.
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Cool thanks! I use Voyager and can’t find it
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To add on to this, there's no such thing as an alt account. You will eventually let something slip that will lead back to your main or to you. It's not plausible, but it is possible and I act accordingly.
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Downvotes are not for disagreements.
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Same goes for people actively misreading your content in the worst possible way obviously just to start some shit.
This has been a plague on reddit.
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What are they for? Like/dislike?
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I only downvote when something is blatantly factually false or posted in bad faith (i.e. obviously trolling and I can't think of a good-faith reason why someone would post this).
If I merely disagree with something, I write an answer explaining why, or if there already is one that I agree with, I upvote that.
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I only comment when I feel I am adding something to the conversation that nobody else has added. On many contentious topics, nearly everything that can be said has already been said by someone, so I usually don't comment on them.
