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  3. Avocado

Avocado

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD [email protected]

    I just asked my wife and she made the face. This is apparently, correct 😂😬😂

    D This user is from outside of this forum
    D This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #90

    I asked my wife if she wanted breakfast in bed... she did not like what was in her toast.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • B [email protected]
      • you + are = you're
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #91

      I guess you're* the expert.

      1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • L [email protected]

        I'd imagine lemmy has among the lowest has-sucked-dick ratios of any potentially mixed-gender community.

        V This user is from outside of this forum
        V This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #92

        Why? We're a bunch of old wannabe rebels (among other) eager to try out new stuff, surely sucking a dick was something easy to try out in our youth, and then lots of us are trans, gay, transbians and so on.

        S 1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • obviouslynotbanana@lemmy.worldO [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          V This user is from outside of this forum
          V This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #93

          The real question; how do you find avocados with small nuts (or seeds) like that?!!

          K 1 Reply Last reply
          5
          • a_random_idiot@lemmy.worldA [email protected]

            not as chewy, either.

            kalcifer@sh.itjust.worksK This user is from outside of this forum
            kalcifer@sh.itjust.worksK This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #94

            what a day to have eyes

            1 Reply Last reply
            2
            • obviouslynotbanana@lemmy.worldO [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              S This user is from outside of this forum
              S This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #95

              Never knowingly ate any anyhow so ymmv

              1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • V [email protected]

                The real question; how do you find avocados with small nuts (or seeds) like that?!!

                K This user is from outside of this forum
                K This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #96

                Look for longer rather than fatter avocado. Fatter has more room for larger nut, but since the nut is round and not oblong, a slimmer longer avocado will have less space wasted on the nut.

                S 1 Reply Last reply
                10
                • corkyskog@sh.itjust.worksC [email protected]

                  It would be easy to find out, in fact they might pay you to find out!

                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #97

                  Who the hell would go through the hassle of buying sex without cleaning ur pp. I mean that just sounds grim at that point.

                  S 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • K [email protected]

                    Look for longer rather than fatter avocado. Fatter has more room for larger nut, but since the nut is round and not oblong, a slimmer longer avocado will have less space wasted on the nut.

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #98

                    Oh god I'm close keep going

                    S 1 Reply Last reply
                    13
                    • F [email protected]

                      I don wanna know what unclean penis taste like

                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #99

                      Like what it smells like but pissier and salty af. At first. After you slather on it for a while it all just tastes the same because you've cleaned it with your mouth and throat. I do not enjoy unclean penis. It is not fun, it is not hot. Please clean your nasty cocks for the love of god. Hygiene, people, hygiene!

                      F 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • F [email protected]

                        Who the hell would go through the hassle of buying sex without cleaning ur pp. I mean that just sounds grim at that point.

                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #100

                        You'd be surprised.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • V [email protected]

                          Why? We're a bunch of old wannabe rebels (among other) eager to try out new stuff, surely sucking a dick was something easy to try out in our youth, and then lots of us are trans, gay, transbians and so on.

                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #101

                          ☺️ 🏳️‍🌈👋 Happy pride!

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • B [email protected]
                            • you + are = you're
                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #102

                            No.

                            My the expert.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • D [email protected]

                              I think I'd prefer reverse seared penis but idk

                              S This user is from outside of this forum
                              S This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #103

                              Like a pp corndog

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • S [email protected]

                                Like what it smells like but pissier and salty af. At first. After you slather on it for a while it all just tastes the same because you've cleaned it with your mouth and throat. I do not enjoy unclean penis. It is not fun, it is not hot. Please clean your nasty cocks for the love of god. Hygiene, people, hygiene!

                                F This user is from outside of this forum
                                F This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                                #104

                                makes sense. and ewww people really needa learn basic hygiene.

                                S 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • r3d4ct3d@midwest.socialR [email protected]

                                  wait, so a “glory hole” is a tool for science? TIL!

                                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #105

                                  Just don’t forget to bring your nachos

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                                  0
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    Oh god I'm close keep going

                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #106

                                    🌰 🥜 🔩

                                    S 1 Reply Last reply
                                    2
                                    • E [email protected]

                                      It's probably just a joke to piss off conservatives. If correct, it works be a worthy cause.

                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #107

                                      Did you know light beer tastes like cum?

                                      S A 2 Replies Last reply
                                      0
                                      • S [email protected]

                                        Did you know light beer tastes like cum?

                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #108

                                        Can confirm. Cum tastes exactly like Michelob Ultra.

                                        A 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • S [email protected]

                                          Altar boy?

                                          F This user is from outside of this forum
                                          F This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #109

                                          what? no. just my best friend’s older brother who happened to be a sexual predator.

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