Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. Don't tell me what to do.

Don't tell me what to do.

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
89 Posts 69 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • W [email protected]

    Bread 🥖

    kingjalopy@lemm.eeK This user is from outside of this forum
    kingjalopy@lemm.eeK This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #58

    What goes up must always come down

    1 Reply Last reply
    3
    • B [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      O This user is from outside of this forum
      O This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #59

      "Breaking news"

      1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • W [email protected]

        what kind of sauce you gonna put on it?

        K This user is from outside of this forum
        K This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #60

        Teriya-KY

        1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • tourist@lemmy.worldT [email protected]

          DO NOT SHOVE SPRINGROLLS UP YOUR ASS

          O This user is from outside of this forum
          O This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #61

          Don't shove spring rolls up your ass, shove autumn wraps into the digestive system in reverse. 🙂

          1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • B [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            S This user is from outside of this forum
            S This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #62

            A spring roll a day…

            1 Reply Last reply
            2
            • sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

              It's the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.

              The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.

              M This user is from outside of this forum
              M This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #63

              Best thing to do is just fry the egg rolls inside your bowels. First you coat your lower intestines with aluminum foil, then you shove in the egg rolls and pour in the hot oil.

              1 Reply Last reply
              2
              • B [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                macncheezus@lemmy.todayM This user is from outside of this forum
                macncheezus@lemmy.todayM This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                #64

                This is why we can’t have free healthcare.

                1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • B [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zoneL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zoneL This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #65

                  they are going that way anyway, why not have a couple take a shortcut

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  2
                  • kate@lemmy.uhhoh.comK [email protected]

                    just gonna leave this here https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/doctors-warning-people-not-insert-17802129

                    lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zoneL This user is from outside of this forum
                    lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zoneL This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #66

                    "I can almost recognize my bottom again" is an all time quote

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • B [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #67

                      Several years back, I went to the store at the beginning of summer to get some foam pool noodles for the pool. I couldn't find them anywhere, not even Walmart.

                      The next spring, they were everywhere, but they all included a tag or sticker that read "Not to be inserted rectally."

                      So we had to go a summer without pool noodles so the government regulators could protect us against some butt stuff some weirdo tried.

                      A 1 Reply Last reply
                      11
                      • B [email protected]

                        Several years back, I went to the store at the beginning of summer to get some foam pool noodles for the pool. I couldn't find them anywhere, not even Walmart.

                        The next spring, they were everywhere, but they all included a tag or sticker that read "Not to be inserted rectally."

                        So we had to go a summer without pool noodles so the government regulators could protect us against some butt stuff some weirdo tried.

                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #68

                        if you can shove a pool noodle up yer arse, I don't think the government should tell you not too

                        B 1 Reply Last reply
                        6
                        • A [email protected]

                          if you can shove a pool noodle up yer arse, I don't think the government should tell you not too

                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #69

                          SOMEBODY should tell you not to!

                          A 1 Reply Last reply
                          8
                          • B [email protected]

                            SOMEBODY should tell you not to!

                            A This user is from outside of this forum
                            A This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #70

                            you just did, and that's enough.

                            if you don't mind me, I'm going to get a pool noodle for research

                            B 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • B [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              elevenbones@sh.itjust.worksE This user is from outside of this forum
                              elevenbones@sh.itjust.worksE This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #71

                              Yeah probably the same "doctors" that give vaccines and think covid is real 😳

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              2
                              • A [email protected]

                                you just did, and that's enough.

                                if you don't mind me, I'm going to get a pool noodle for research

                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #72

                                Well, have fun.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • G [email protected]

                                  I have so many questions about the train of thought that led to this… situation.

                                  machinist@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  machinist@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #73

                                  I reckon a friend of theirs was looking for something real hard.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  2
                                  • B [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    L This user is from outside of this forum
                                    L This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #74

                                    The new sexually frustrated boomer trend

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • B [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #75

                                      My body, my choice.

                                      I 1 Reply Last reply
                                      11
                                      • mushuchupacabra@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

                                        Maybe the worm likes spring rolls.

                                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #76

                                        Do you have any idea how hard it is for a brain parasite to order takeout?

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        2
                                        • B [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #77

                                          Well DUH! It's summer idiots.

                                          B 1 Reply Last reply
                                          5
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups