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  3. The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind

The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind

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  • U [email protected]

    Ik a few people who lean to the right economically but aren't in favor of all this authoritarian stuff
    And they're not Nazis, you cant just generalize so broadly about what should or shouldn't be tolerated.
    Ofc if someone is being blatantly racist that shouldnt be tolerated, but economic discussion is totally fine

    S This user is from outside of this forum
    S This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #401

    Electing republicans is in itself blatantly racist.

    U 1 Reply Last reply
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    • S [email protected]

      This is an example of what being nice is for the average Lemmy user

      Jesus Christ you people can't even comment without going ballistic at each other over the slightest thing

      davel@lemmy.mlD This user is from outside of this forum
      davel@lemmy.mlD This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #402

      I wouldn’t call this the “average” Lemmy user, but there is a minority of very loud users who make it seem that way at times.

      If we want this to be a pleasant place, users need to report them, and mods & admins—who, I cannot stress enough, do this labor for free or at most peanuts—need to deal with them.

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      • S [email protected]

        Electing republicans is in itself blatantly racist.

        U This user is from outside of this forum
        U This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #403

        You do realize that there are members of marginalized groups who have been elected as republicans
        Like there's black republicans
        Is voting for them 'blatantly racist'?
        If you overuse language it loses some of its meaning

        S 1 Reply Last reply
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        • N [email protected]

          I disagree with your premise.

          It should be "The best thing that you can do for humanity is to be kind".

          Seriously. We're living in a time when fascism is in an upswing and at least one religious leader has publicly called empathy a sin. Kindness and empathy are rebellious acts.

          follydolly@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
          follydolly@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #404

          I can get behind the Kindness Rebellion.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • R [email protected]

            I don't miss the thousands of obnoxious, foul mouthed folks on FB that I routinely blocked. Haven't experienced any of that on the fediverse yet.

            C This user is from outside of this forum
            C This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #405

            Best part about Lemmy is it actually seems like I'm talking to a real person.

            S 1 Reply Last reply
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            • N [email protected]

              I disagree with your premise.

              It should be "The best thing that you can do for humanity is to be kind".

              Seriously. We're living in a time when fascism is in an upswing and at least one religious leader has publicly called empathy a sin. Kindness and empathy are rebellious acts.

              emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
              emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #406

              Yeah, let's show them! ... how to be decent human beings by example.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • C [email protected]

                I totally agree with your message.

                These days everyone who is not ultra-left easily gets labelled as Nazi, similarly everyone who brings up any rather left argument will be called a woke snowflake.

                Thus, any dialog is immediately shut down. Listen, understand, exchange arguments.

                That is what unites everyone who believes in liberal values.

                C This user is from outside of this forum
                C This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #407

                The last listening and understanding I had with a Trumper was over whether Haitians were eating cats and dogs in Ohio. They're not serious and I'm not going to pretend they are.

                "Ultra-left" in America has boiled down to not hating minorities.

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                • B [email protected]

                  This place is becoming very Reddit, if you post anything that deviates from someone’s beliefs they call you names and insult your intelligence. So many people can’t have a debate or discussion without jumping to personal attacks and hate. It’s really disheartening. I love political debate but there’s no such thing anymore, only name calling

                  D This user is from outside of this forum
                  D This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #408

                  Honestly I'd expect nothing less. Almost everyone here is a Reddit refuge. We'd need a solid balance of different internet groups to not feel like Reddit. Tumblr, 4chan, Instagram, Twitch chat... for better or worse all have a very different feel from one another.

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                  • M [email protected]

                    Most people know this in some capacity, but it's not talked about enough: the shape of the platform massively shapes its culture. Every mechanism, intentional feature or not, is a factor in resulting user behavior and should be accounted for.

                    Reddit Karma was (shitty) reputation from the start, but Slashdot user IDs became one despite being mere sequential identifiers; negative user feedback such as downvotes can be harmful to communities (yet, users without an outlet may lash out in other ways e.g. reports); even how the platform communicates with users influences them; and so on.

                    I'm not saying you shouldn't be nice and incentivize others to do the same, but unless the system naturally leads to the desired behavior, you'll have a bad time in the long term because building culture by interactions doesn't scale. By the time you realize there's a shift, it's too late; interactions will compound and affect how the average user acts faster than you can try to course-correct.

                    I wish lemmy was more experimental, because by building a clone of reddit, we've copied too many of its faults. We've already got gatherings to complain about mods, and the one time devs considered changing a core component, discussion was killed by an onslaught of users. Problems with the current setup that were brought up then will likely never see that amount of people thinking about how to solve them.

                    Contrast with Mastodon, which gets crap for not being a more faithful copy of twitter, but their reasoning for not including quote-reblogs is understandable. They're now putting a lot of thought into how to add them safely. Not ignoring functionality users want, but also not ignoring how it will affect culture, that's compromise.

                    I'd like it if we could talk more about how our platforms work and, specifically, how they affect us.

                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #409

                    What if we had a tribunal instead of moderators? Actually just in the time it took me to write that out I could see it going terribly wrong LMAO

                    S 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • L [email protected]

                      A big problem is too much politics, feels like politics is always brought up even in posts where it's not the topic of discussion. Just look at this post. Then if someone disagrees with your view they'll attack you and then they'll claim they "are on the right side". People have forgotten the golden rule.

                      C This user is from outside of this forum
                      C This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #410

                      That's because politics are getting to the point where people cannot ignore them any longer. Think it's bad now? Just wait till the grocery gets hit.

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                      • B [email protected]

                        This place is becoming very Reddit, if you post anything that deviates from someone’s beliefs they call you names and insult your intelligence. So many people can’t have a debate or discussion without jumping to personal attacks and hate. It’s really disheartening. I love political debate but there’s no such thing anymore, only name calling

                        emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
                        emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #411

                        Report it - people jumping straight to insults are trying to shut discussion down which really isn't acceptable.

                        D 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • ? Guest

                          Not if you ask Republicans. You can be fresh off the boat than you can run to the nearest voting booth and steal the election

                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #412

                          What pisses me off the most is that Republicans will say "they can come here, they should just do it illegally", as if they don't realize that process can take nearly a decade... which they probably don't.

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                          • S [email protected]

                            It’s not about tolerance imo, it’s about discussion. You’d be surprised to learn their reasoning if you actually listened to it. You don’t have to agree with it.

                            Both sides have this problem right now. Both only converse with their own. Why are republicans not changing? Well if their friends, family and everyone they talk to is a republican, they’ll never be exposed to different opinions.

                            Don’t forget that both sides can have valid policies depending on how you view the world. I’m not taking about trump and whatever you people are doing out there in the US, but in general, conservatism is the idea that people will manage their money, rather than the government.

                            Look at Quebec for example. A very socialist government. 2 years ago they invested a ton on money into one electric bus company. Well that company failed really bad and while they aren’t completely bankrupt, they aren’t far. It’s easy then to then see why conservatives would want to vote conservative. If their money had stayed in their pocket instead of going to the government, this wouldn’t have happened.

                            Same thing with health. The public health system is currently clogged up so a lot of people end up having to pay to go to the private sector to actually get cured in time. So conservatives believe this whole system is a huge waste of taxpayer money. Most conservatives I know aren’t agaisnt the government helping with that, but they’d rather the government just pay the invoice after you went to a private clinic, similar to insurance in the states, rather than try to control a system that clearly isn’t working.

                            C This user is from outside of this forum
                            C This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote on last edited by
                            #413

                            You’d be surprised to learn their reasoning if you actually listened to it.

                            Turns out their reasoning a lot of the time is divinely ordained racism and sexism. Turns out thats been the reasoning behind a lot of humanity's choices.

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                            • mynameisatticus@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

                              One my favorite ways to summarize this kind of thinking is with the Bill & Ted quote "Be Excellent To Each Other, and Party On Dudes" (mostly the first half applies to this post though). The part that applies to this post, Keanu Reeves said he interprets as follows:

                              I think that the sentiment of it is really just be the best person, the best human being you can be, and if you do that, then you can party on and live life to the fullest, but you’re gonna be safe... You’re going to be supported, you’re going to get the gift of giving, you’re going to get the gift of receiving, you’re going to get to the gift of sharing. We’re all just some humans on a rock in space, and so it’s kinda nice to kind of promote that idea of ‘give a little, get a lot’, kind of bring it in for a group hug."

                              emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
                              emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #414

                              I'm a member of the Church of Bill & Ted.

                              mynameisatticus@lemmy.worldM 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • U [email protected]

                                Ik a few people who lean to the right economically but aren't in favor of all this authoritarian stuff
                                And they're not Nazis, you cant just generalize so broadly about what should or shouldn't be tolerated.
                                Ofc if someone is being blatantly racist that shouldnt be tolerated, but economic discussion is totally fine

                                C This user is from outside of this forum
                                C This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #415

                                Turns out Republicans social and economic policiy is dogshit. There are three types of Republicans; power hungry sycophants, cultural chameleons that dont care but to blend in, and then the largest proportion... salt of the earth morons.

                                U 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • C [email protected]

                                  Love you guys

                                  emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
                                  emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #416

                                  Group hug!

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                                    I can empathize with your anger but I do think it's easy to forget just how much propaganda can shape peoples world views and idea of reality. It's used so heavily because it works 😞

                                    Regardless, I'm not trying to start a fight, I can appreciate having no more tolerance for the increasing cruelty of the state of the world. Take care ❤️

                                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                                    C This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #417

                                    There's a story I heard recently that has really stuck with me. It happened in the Sobibor Extermination Camp during WW2. Basically the camp was structured so that captured Jews would be selected to be Kapos. A Kapo was a disciplinarian that kept the rest of the Jews in line, usually with a whip. A lot of the times the Kapo would repeat Nazi propaganda because the Nazi guards were watching too. The rest of the Jews could understand their predicament. But there was one Kapo named Berliner, nicknamed because he was born in Berlin. The rest of the Jews hated Berliner because he truly bought into the propaganda. Imagine, a Jew... in an extermination camp... talking about how Hitler was a misunderstood savior of the Jews right before he started beating his fellow Jews to keep them in line.

                                    It's no surprise that Berliner's end comes in the form of a lynching by the rest of the Jews he was keeping in line.

                                    cris_color@lemmy.worldC 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
                                      emperor@feddit.ukE This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #418

                                      @[email protected] being nice helps establish the “tone”, but I’m not sure that wouldn’t change with another “API event” on Reddit that results in another, larger mass migration.

                                      The way I see it - the early adopters set the tone of a place and new arrivals are more likely to adopt that approach. So it is important to be kind now, so people will be kind later.

                                      S 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                                        I am! Thank you for asking 🙂

                                        Ive gotten a lot of assumptions about what I meant and that's a bit frustrating but I really value honest sincere dialogue, if you have thoughts you think would be worth sharing I'd love to hear them my friend!

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                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #419

                                        I thought I had hit reply on your other comment going into more detail (whoops!).

                                        Like I did in this example, ask if people are open to feedback (if you're the one giving it).

                                        Often when I am training groups on how to work together, I always try and frame feedback as a gift.

                                        If someone is giving you feedback, they are genuinely trying to help you grow - and that's a gift. The issue here though, is not everyone is a good gift giver - and we can't control that.

                                        What we do have control over is how we recieve gifts - often all you need to do is say thank you. Don't explain why you're not going to use this feedback (if you plan not to incorporate it). Other than clarifying the feedback to better understand how to incorporate it, saying thank you is the best way to go about it.

                                        As far as delivering feedback I always say "if you can choose to be anything in this world why choose anything other than kind."

                                        It is important to state that "being kind" doesn't mean not having the difficult conversations or delivering difficult feedback - you can still do that without being cruel. Being assertive isn't being aggressive.

                                        A bit rambly but if you're ever working with folx on delivering feedback, I've found that presenting these frameworks with it ste super helpful

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • C [email protected]

                                          There's a story I heard recently that has really stuck with me. It happened in the Sobibor Extermination Camp during WW2. Basically the camp was structured so that captured Jews would be selected to be Kapos. A Kapo was a disciplinarian that kept the rest of the Jews in line, usually with a whip. A lot of the times the Kapo would repeat Nazi propaganda because the Nazi guards were watching too. The rest of the Jews could understand their predicament. But there was one Kapo named Berliner, nicknamed because he was born in Berlin. The rest of the Jews hated Berliner because he truly bought into the propaganda. Imagine, a Jew... in an extermination camp... talking about how Hitler was a misunderstood savior of the Jews right before he started beating his fellow Jews to keep them in line.

                                          It's no surprise that Berliner's end comes in the form of a lynching by the rest of the Jews he was keeping in line.

                                          cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #420

                                          Thank you very much for sharing, I expect that story will stick with me too.

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