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  3. ‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing

‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing

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  • obi@sopuli.xyzO [email protected]

    That's the gist of the success of my marriage. Even before we met, we both had reached a point of maturity where we were confident in ourselves as single people, and then from that solid base you can build the relationship in a healthy way. We both try to be the best to our partner, while being ultimately independent. These over-jealous people are using their relationship as a crutch for life so they're terrified of it going wrong. Either that or they're guilty themselves and projecting.

    appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA This user is from outside of this forum
    appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #270

    So essentially very good friends that chose to live together + benefits of being in a deeper relationship?

    Sounds healthy indeed! Wish you the best to keep that bond 🙂

    obi@sopuli.xyzO 1 Reply Last reply
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    • routhinator@startrek.websiteR [email protected]

      Home Assistant

      appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA This user is from outside of this forum
      appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #271

      (And hoping the location sharing doesnt leak to other applications).

      routhinator@startrek.websiteR 1 Reply Last reply
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      • J [email protected]

        they still have it... if your using an android phone at least... and your cell provider...

        appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA This user is from outside of this forum
        appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #272

        Same for any other phone manufacturer. I won't trust Apple any more than I do with Google.

        The only ones I'd actually trust to keep it somewhat private and probably LineageOS and GrapheneOS (no experience with gOS)

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • moseschrute@lemmy.mlM [email protected]

          Me and my partner share locations. Never once have we done this. It's purely a logistical thing. 10x faster to check someone's location when you're supposed to meet them instead of testing them "wya".

          H This user is from outside of this forum
          H This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #273

          Same. I don’t even recall setting it up until I stumbled on it one day and could track my wife. I pulled a few pranks until I revealed my hand but we’ve never turned it off. There’s nothing malicious about it and we’re both happy to keep it on.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • B [email protected]

            The peace of mind knowing that your significant other didn't just die in a car crash part way to their destination and are still making progress is significant.

            Bless you but the moment I start being afraid of my partner dying everytime they leave the house will be the moment I'm getting back in touch with my psychologist.

            douglasg14b@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
            douglasg14b@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #274

            You're kind of putting words in my mouth here.

            I didn't say that I'm afraid of him dying every time they leave the house, you said that.

            I'm afraid of them dying when they're traveling 20 hours. Or over a mountain pass. Or various other reasons. They travel a lot and I get worried that's just how it is.

            When calculating travel costs, I also dug up some statistics and figured what the chance of crashing, injury and death were based on how much driving we do on an annual basis based on national averages.

            I actually thought knowing that would make me less stressed about all the travel but it didn't help because the numbers are kind of depressing.

            dozzi92@lemmy.worldD 1 Reply Last reply
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            • appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA [email protected]

              So essentially very good friends that chose to live together + benefits of being in a deeper relationship?

              Sounds healthy indeed! Wish you the best to keep that bond 🙂

              obi@sopuli.xyzO This user is from outside of this forum
              obi@sopuli.xyzO This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #275

              We were a couple right away so no existing friendship beforehand but within the relationship, that's kinda how it works yeah!

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • M [email protected]

                Why would you want to give third parties access to your locations?

                Y This user is from outside of this forum
                Y This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by [email protected]
                #276

                Are you saying Apple doesn’t have access to my location already? Like I’m some kind of secret agent?

                M 1 Reply Last reply
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                • M [email protected]

                  You realize you are also sharing your location with third parties or you havent figured that out yet? lmao

                  Y This user is from outside of this forum
                  Y This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                  #277

                  Yes, Apple already has my location. Using the location finder in iOS does not share data with advertisers. Also, I spend 99% of my time at my house. Wtf kind of secret shit do you think I’m up to?

                  M 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • naevatherat@lemmy.dbzer0.comN [email protected]

                    Yes we're teenagers. We've been married 15 years, ceremony was when we were three.

                    Privacy is important, have you never kept a diary? Do you film therapy sessions lest your partner not know what you discussed? Shit with the door open? You don't need justification for wanting privacy, you need privacy so when you have a good reason for it nothing looks different.

                    What if there’s an emergency?

                    What if there is? Get help, that's an insane fear to live with. If I am unconscious there's nothing to do anyway, the hospital or whatever will find her details in my purse and call. What the fuck am I going to do, sit there watching the dot on the map and calling 000 if it stops moving? You are a lunatic, we have society to take care of us while we're out and about and emergency beacons if you're like camping beyond the black stump or sailing the Pacific.

                    Y This user is from outside of this forum
                    Y This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                    #278

                    No, I’m not worried about my wife reading “my diary” because I’m not a child.

                    It honestly sounds like you need to work on your marriage and are projecting. Maybe try a couple’s therapist?

                    naevatherat@lemmy.dbzer0.comN 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • B [email protected]

                      So you have suggestions?

                      M This user is from outside of this forum
                      M This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #279

                      It's not something I've used very much as I don't have much need for it, but I have used Locus a few times and I'm pretty comfortable with their privacy policy compared to the vast majority of other options.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • Y [email protected]

                        No, I’m not worried about my wife reading “my diary” because I’m not a child.

                        It honestly sounds like you need to work on your marriage and are projecting. Maybe try a couple’s therapist?

                        naevatherat@lemmy.dbzer0.comN This user is from outside of this forum
                        naevatherat@lemmy.dbzer0.comN This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #280

                        Very hinged lemmy comment.

                        Y 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • return2ozma@lemmy.worldR [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          P This user is from outside of this forum
                          P This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #281

                          if you believe the only reason your partner isn't cheating is that you'd find out via location share; what the fuck is the point?

                          P 1 Reply Last reply
                          13
                          • return2ozma@lemmy.worldR [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            D This user is from outside of this forum
                            D This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by [email protected]
                            #282

                            So we have two camps.

                            1. It's a tool to be used and it's a good thing to exists and I have it enabled forever

                            2. Keep a gun pointed at it at all occasions and even if you use it, do so with heavy restrictions

                            I trust my partner and my partner trusts me but the idea of stalking her via app is mindboggling and, honestly, disgusting to me. Like a dog on a leash, always observed, always controlled. That's some mind disease shit going on. Trust your partner dammit. Ya all have issues.

                            On the other hand though being violently agaisnt it cuz "oh my god privacy" is also funny. The recipent is your partner. Setting it up for some specific use case shouldn't be a bother. It can be extremely usefull for example for grabbing shit in a mall - if you are not interested in going to the same shop, enable it, split, get what you need, join back, disable it.

                            What I am getting at is - it's a tool, but an invasive and overly controlling one. Use it how you wish but do not perceive having it on constantly as normal. It literally sounds disgusting.

                            Edit: For people talking about privacy - we're on lemmy. We all know how tracking works. An even if you have localisation off, your device will connect to local wifi and smart appliances to log your location anyway. So I am not really invested into discusing overall practice of having location on - only on sharing saud location.

                            isokiero@sopuli.xyzI S O 3 Replies Last reply
                            10
                            • D [email protected]

                              So we have two camps.

                              1. It's a tool to be used and it's a good thing to exists and I have it enabled forever

                              2. Keep a gun pointed at it at all occasions and even if you use it, do so with heavy restrictions

                              I trust my partner and my partner trusts me but the idea of stalking her via app is mindboggling and, honestly, disgusting to me. Like a dog on a leash, always observed, always controlled. That's some mind disease shit going on. Trust your partner dammit. Ya all have issues.

                              On the other hand though being violently agaisnt it cuz "oh my god privacy" is also funny. The recipent is your partner. Setting it up for some specific use case shouldn't be a bother. It can be extremely usefull for example for grabbing shit in a mall - if you are not interested in going to the same shop, enable it, split, get what you need, join back, disable it.

                              What I am getting at is - it's a tool, but an invasive and overly controlling one. Use it how you wish but do not perceive having it on constantly as normal. It literally sounds disgusting.

                              Edit: For people talking about privacy - we're on lemmy. We all know how tracking works. An even if you have localisation off, your device will connect to local wifi and smart appliances to log your location anyway. So I am not really invested into discusing overall practice of having location on - only on sharing saud location.

                              isokiero@sopuli.xyzI This user is from outside of this forum
                              isokiero@sopuli.xyzI This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #283

                              The recipent is your partner.

                              And provider of whatever service you use to share your location. Being a bit paranoid about your privacy in this day and age is not just fearmongering and tinfoil-hats.

                              It can be extremely usefull for example for grabbing shit in a mall

                              Or communicate in advance that it'll take 30 minutes for you to find your shit and then meet up at a cafe, by car, at lobby or whatever. Live location doesn't add anything to that, assuming it even works reliably enough inside buildings.

                              P 1 Reply Last reply
                              5
                              • D [email protected]

                                So we have two camps.

                                1. It's a tool to be used and it's a good thing to exists and I have it enabled forever

                                2. Keep a gun pointed at it at all occasions and even if you use it, do so with heavy restrictions

                                I trust my partner and my partner trusts me but the idea of stalking her via app is mindboggling and, honestly, disgusting to me. Like a dog on a leash, always observed, always controlled. That's some mind disease shit going on. Trust your partner dammit. Ya all have issues.

                                On the other hand though being violently agaisnt it cuz "oh my god privacy" is also funny. The recipent is your partner. Setting it up for some specific use case shouldn't be a bother. It can be extremely usefull for example for grabbing shit in a mall - if you are not interested in going to the same shop, enable it, split, get what you need, join back, disable it.

                                What I am getting at is - it's a tool, but an invasive and overly controlling one. Use it how you wish but do not perceive having it on constantly as normal. It literally sounds disgusting.

                                Edit: For people talking about privacy - we're on lemmy. We all know how tracking works. An even if you have localisation off, your device will connect to local wifi and smart appliances to log your location anyway. So I am not really invested into discusing overall practice of having location on - only on sharing saud location.

                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                #284

                                My wife and I have our location shared with each other 24/7. Furthermore, my sister also has mine and my wife has her sister's. It has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with safety. Perhaps the real trust is not assuming your partner will use your location to control you.

                                O S D 3 Replies Last reply
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                                • L [email protected]

                                  You are still sharing it with google if you have an android phone lol

                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #285

                                  And you don't think iPhones and Apple don't know your location?

                                  L 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • saik0shinigami@lemmy.saik0.comS [email protected]

                                    you are sharing your location with a greedy company [...] and then the highest bidder access this information

                                    Pretty sure I read it.

                                    You can do location sharing WITHOUT interacting with any "greedy company" or "highest bidder".

                                    Then you state...

                                    if you run nextcloud and that addon I don’t remember, or reitti, at home and use that, and you keep is somewhat safe*

                                    and I confirm that you can do it in Nextcloud, and ALSO Home Assistant... as Home assistant is also likely to be something people are running.

                                    I think you didn’t read my comment

                                    I think that you think that everyone who ever comments to your post is always arguing against you.

                                    Edit: missed a couple of words.

                                    W This user is from outside of this forum
                                    W This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #286

                                    and I confirm that you can do it in Nextcloud, and ALSO Home Assistant... as Home assistant is also likely to be something people are running.

                                    I'm sorry, I misunderstood you then.

                                    I think that you think that everyone who ever comments to your post is always arguing against you.

                                    I don't think that I think that way. I was responding that because the way the way you said seemed to be more of intending to write new information, than a confirmation.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA [email protected]

                                      (And hoping the location sharing doesnt leak to other applications).

                                      routhinator@startrek.websiteR This user is from outside of this forum
                                      routhinator@startrek.websiteR This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #287

                                      We switched to Fairphones running e/OS so we have pretty solid control of that. Im looking forward to postmarketOS being a bit more stable.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • S [email protected]

                                        Seconded.

                                        And having each other's location is really helpful. I'm nervous if my partner doesn't know where I am.

                                        routhinator@startrek.websiteR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        routhinator@startrek.websiteR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #288

                                        Yeah my wife has MS and I worry when shes late that she is having trouble. And I go hiking in the bush so its good if she has my approximate location

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • L [email protected]

                                          Privacy generally means the ability to control your personal information and how it's used, as well as your freedom from intrusion and observation.

                                          If you knowingly opt in it’s not really a breach of privacy. They’re choosing to allow a 3rd party access to that information which doesn’t fit with your preferences but it’s not really a breach of privacy or trust.

                                          W This user is from outside of this forum
                                          W This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                          #289

                                          they have control over giving that information to the 3rd party, but they don't have any control after that, over how the information is used. with that in mind, do you think they have control over their information?

                                          they are choosing to allow a 3rd party access to that information

                                          that's right, allowing that 3rd party. but did they choose to share it with the business partners of that 3rd party too? are they aware of what is happening in the background? even if they didn't just register-accept-next-next-finish it, most people have no idea about it, because there's so little discourse about it.

                                          like, when I registered to facebook many years ago I had no idea what I was doing. I was using their services a lot for years, blissfully unaware that facebook is a shit company. and what control did I have at the end? the illusion of deletion.

                                          L 1 Reply Last reply
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