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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • L [email protected]

    Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?

    beigeagenda@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
    beigeagenda@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #16

    Madam, my compliments to your ovaries šŸŽ©šŸ’ŖšŸ¼šŸ„ššŸ™‡

    1 Reply Last reply
    12
    • S [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      I This user is from outside of this forum
      I This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #17

      Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?

      D 1 Reply Last reply
      19
      • G [email protected]

        This must be why the site is still in Beta

        H This user is from outside of this forum
        H This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #18

        I'm surprised they fought the urge to stay alpha forever

        1 Reply Last reply
        3
        • B [email protected]

          No, for that you have to fill her up.

          omniman@anarchist.nexusO This user is from outside of this forum
          omniman@anarchist.nexusO This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #19

          Fill her up with love šŸ„ŗšŸ‘‰šŸ‘ˆ

          A 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • S [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            S This user is from outside of this forum
            S This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #20

            We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

            kolanaki@pawb.socialK bluelinebae@midwest.socialB washedupcynic@lemmy.caW F K 11 Replies Last reply
            177
            • K [email protected]

              That sounds like Strong Bad's alter ego.

              D This user is from outside of this forum
              D This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #21

              The Cheat is vacuuming.

              S 1 Reply Last reply
              14
              • B [email protected]

                What's sad about learning something new and getting laid?

                D This user is from outside of this forum
                D This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #22

                Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

                B 1 Reply Last reply
                9
                • S [email protected]

                  We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                  kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                  kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #23

                  "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                  R S K 3 Replies Last reply
                  59
                  • L [email protected]

                    Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?

                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #24

                    My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                    C B 2 Replies Last reply
                    12
                    • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                      "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #25

                      To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they're ovulating.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      11
                      • D [email protected]

                        Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #26

                        Certainly, m'lady!

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • D [email protected]

                          My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #27

                          Why, thank you, I've just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          5
                          • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                            "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #28

                            Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                            lime@feddit.nuL 1 Reply Last reply
                            38
                            • S [email protected]

                              Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                              lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                              lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #29

                              no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

                              asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA 1 Reply Last reply
                              32
                              • S [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #30

                                "No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!"

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                2
                                • B [email protected]

                                  Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #31

                                  Hi. Welcome to the Internet.

                                  C 1 Reply Last reply
                                  5
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                    bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                    #32

                                    That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

                                    S E 2 Replies Last reply
                                    2
                                    • S [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #33

                                      Suckers gonna suck

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • S [email protected]

                                        We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                        washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                                        washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #34

                                        Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.

                                        F 1 Reply Last reply
                                        8
                                        • S [email protected]

                                          We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                          F This user is from outside of this forum
                                          F This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #35

                                          I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          4
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