Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
122 Posts 80 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • B [email protected]

    No, for that you have to fill her up.

    omniman@anarchist.nexusO This user is from outside of this forum
    omniman@anarchist.nexusO This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #19

    Fill her up with love 🥺👉👈

    A 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • S [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      S This user is from outside of this forum
      S This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #20

      We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

      kolanaki@pawb.socialK bluelinebae@midwest.socialB washedupcynic@lemmy.caW F K 11 Replies Last reply
      178
      • K [email protected]

        That sounds like Strong Bad's alter ego.

        D This user is from outside of this forum
        D This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #21

        The Cheat is vacuuming.

        S 1 Reply Last reply
        14
        • B [email protected]

          What's sad about learning something new and getting laid?

          D This user is from outside of this forum
          D This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #22

          Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

          B 1 Reply Last reply
          9
          • S [email protected]

            We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

            kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
            kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #23

            "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

            R S K 3 Replies Last reply
            60
            • L [email protected]

              Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?

              D This user is from outside of this forum
              D This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #24

              My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

              C B 2 Replies Last reply
              12
              • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                R This user is from outside of this forum
                R This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #25

                To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they're ovulating.

                1 Reply Last reply
                11
                • D [email protected]

                  Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #26

                  Certainly, m'lady!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  2
                  • D [email protected]

                    My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #27

                    Why, thank you, I've just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    5
                    • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                      "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #28

                      Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                      lime@feddit.nuL 1 Reply Last reply
                      39
                      • S [email protected]

                        Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                        lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                        lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #29

                        no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

                        asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA 1 Reply Last reply
                        33
                        • S [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #30

                          "No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!"

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          2
                          • B [email protected]

                            Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #31

                            Hi. Welcome to the Internet.

                            C 1 Reply Last reply
                            5
                            • S [email protected]

                              We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                              bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by [email protected]
                              #32

                              That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

                              S E 2 Replies Last reply
                              2
                              • S [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #33

                                Suckers gonna suck

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • S [email protected]

                                  We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                  washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                                  washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #34

                                  Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.

                                  F 1 Reply Last reply
                                  8
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #35

                                    I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    4
                                    • I [email protected]

                                      Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?

                                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                      #36

                                      It's typo progressive for him. He's the "your wife shouldn't get wet" type.

                                      Edit: autocorrect fail in the worst/best way there

                                      O 1 Reply Last reply
                                      6
                                      • B [email protected]

                                        Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                                        cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #37

                                        Kids these days don’t remember the internet before /s, where you had to use context to tell of someone was being sarcastic or not.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        4
                                        • lime@feddit.nuL [email protected]

                                          no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

                                          asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #38

                                          Nilered did a video on this, it's technically at least cheese-adjacent

                                          https://youtu.be/0aGNAxN5Z-o

                                          lime@feddit.nuL kolanaki@pawb.socialK 2 Replies Last reply
                                          12
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups