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  3. Not stealing

Not stealing

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • S [email protected]

    I don’t know why, but “stealing him” is such a funny way of saying that.

    S This user is from outside of this forum
    S This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #6

    It's funny because children aren't people. Or something...

    B 1 Reply Last reply
    4
    • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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      wrote last edited by
      #7

      This very much could have been my husband about a decade ago. The last tantrum my middle child ever threw, with lots of screaming and running and destroying things like a fucking tornado in the middle of a Target. Spouse carried them kicking and screaming out to the car while I finished checking out and by the time I got there they were buckled in their car seat, completely calm and composed, like a switch flipped. (As far as I know) it wasn't any sort of punishment or shining moment of parenting, the kid just decided, I'm done now.

      And they haven't thrown a fit since.

      B M 2 Replies Last reply
      15
      • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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        wrote last edited by
        #8

        I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.

        J dozzi92@lemmy.worldD V E 4 Replies Last reply
        117
        • B [email protected]

          I don't think the apple falls very far from the tree

          R This user is from outside of this forum
          R This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #9

          Hard to tell from so little info. You can make a kid act like that by being a shitty parent, but they can also have issues unbidden that stretch you past your breaking point.

          In any case, they don't seem to have a healthy relationship.

          W N 2 Replies Last reply
          7
          • R [email protected]

            Hard to tell from so little info. You can make a kid act like that by being a shitty parent, but they can also have issues unbidden that stretch you past your breaking point.

            In any case, they don't seem to have a healthy relationship.

            W This user is from outside of this forum
            W This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #10

            10:1 odds that neither of you currently have a toddler.

            R C 2 Replies Last reply
            14
            • W [email protected]

              10:1 odds that neither of you currently have a toddler.

              R This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #11

              I've had two, go fish.

              1 Reply Last reply
              2
              • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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                underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #12

                I've been reading some variation of this joke since the early 80s.

                I am confident it can be found somewhere in Shakespeare's plays and perhaps on clay tablets hidden deep in the Mesopotamian valley.

                1 Reply Last reply
                18
                • R [email protected]

                  Hard to tell from so little info. You can make a kid act like that by being a shitty parent, but they can also have issues unbidden that stretch you past your breaking point.

                  In any case, they don't seem to have a healthy relationship.

                  N This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #13

                  My kid just had a screaming fit with big fat tears rolling down his face because he reached the bottom of the stairs. The other day, he was howling crying because I had a different colored bowl than he did. I have indeed had to carry my kid out of a public space to go calm down. I do my best to be calm and empathetic to him but emotional regulation is something they grow into.

                  R 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • S [email protected]

                    It's funny because children aren't people. Or something...

                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #14

                    It's just funny to use the word that means a different thing but close

                    wr5@lemmy.worldW 1 Reply Last reply
                    5
                    • N [email protected]

                      My kid just had a screaming fit with big fat tears rolling down his face because he reached the bottom of the stairs. The other day, he was howling crying because I had a different colored bowl than he did. I have indeed had to carry my kid out of a public space to go calm down. I do my best to be calm and empathetic to him but emotional regulation is something they grow into.

                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                      R This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #15

                      That's the best you can do. Upset is normal. Throwing things is normal.

                      Kicking, punching and violence to the point where you have to make excuses that you're not kidnapping isn't.

                      5 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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                        wrote last edited by
                        #16

                        Kinda reminds me of when I was using dating apps, and women would ask how they knew I wasn't a serial killer. "If I was a serial killer, it would be pretty stupid to leave a bunch of digital records of me being the last person my victim talked to, I'd get caught immediately."

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • B [email protected]

                          I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.

                          J This user is from outside of this forum
                          J This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #17

                          You know, this weirdly makes the whole shit world-state seem much more natural lol

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          12
                          • B [email protected]

                            It's just funny to use the word that means a different thing but close

                            wr5@lemmy.worldW This user is from outside of this forum
                            wr5@lemmy.worldW This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #18

                            I'm not shoplifting this child.

                            B 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • wr5@lemmy.worldW [email protected]

                              I'm not shoplifting this child.

                              B This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #19

                              Or alternatively,

                              I'm not kidnapping this money/these goods/etc

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • B [email protected]

                                I don't think the apple falls very far from the tree

                                C This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #20

                                Found the childless one who knows better. Always at least one of you.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                5
                                • W [email protected]

                                  10:1 odds that neither of you currently have a toddler.

                                  C This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #21

                                  Nah, that's a fools bet lol.

                                  T 1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • R [email protected]

                                    That's the best you can do. Upset is normal. Throwing things is normal.

                                    Kicking, punching and violence to the point where you have to make excuses that you're not kidnapping isn't.

                                    5 This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #22

                                    I think that really depends on the kid too. I've had one behave like that fairly regularly until he grew out of it; the other will get upset rarely, and never in public.

                                    The post read to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making an excuse.

                                    R 1 Reply Last reply
                                    7
                                    • B [email protected]

                                      I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.

                                      dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #23

                                      I love hearing other parents have asshole kids, because it reminds me that I'm not alone.

                                      absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA djdarren@sopuli.xyzD 2 Replies Last reply
                                      39
                                      • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #24

                                        ... but if you were to call the cops on me at least it would be a brief yet welcome reprieve from parenting while they come to the inevitable conclusion that he is mine and they don't want him around either

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        19
                                        • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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                                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                          #25

                                          Yeah kids. Cannot throw them away, cannot kill'em. Or so says the "law" apparently.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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