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Not stealing

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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    underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
    underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #12

    I've been reading some variation of this joke since the early 80s.

    I am confident it can be found somewhere in Shakespeare's plays and perhaps on clay tablets hidden deep in the Mesopotamian valley.

    1 Reply Last reply
    18
    • R [email protected]

      Hard to tell from so little info. You can make a kid act like that by being a shitty parent, but they can also have issues unbidden that stretch you past your breaking point.

      In any case, they don't seem to have a healthy relationship.

      N This user is from outside of this forum
      N This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #13

      My kid just had a screaming fit with big fat tears rolling down his face because he reached the bottom of the stairs. The other day, he was howling crying because I had a different colored bowl than he did. I have indeed had to carry my kid out of a public space to go calm down. I do my best to be calm and empathetic to him but emotional regulation is something they grow into.

      R 1 Reply Last reply
      4
      • S [email protected]

        It's funny because children aren't people. Or something...

        B This user is from outside of this forum
        B This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #14

        It's just funny to use the word that means a different thing but close

        wr5@lemmy.worldW 1 Reply Last reply
        5
        • N [email protected]

          My kid just had a screaming fit with big fat tears rolling down his face because he reached the bottom of the stairs. The other day, he was howling crying because I had a different colored bowl than he did. I have indeed had to carry my kid out of a public space to go calm down. I do my best to be calm and empathetic to him but emotional regulation is something they grow into.

          R This user is from outside of this forum
          R This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #15

          That's the best you can do. Upset is normal. Throwing things is normal.

          Kicking, punching and violence to the point where you have to make excuses that you're not kidnapping isn't.

          5 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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            agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA This user is from outside of this forum
            agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #16

            Kinda reminds me of when I was using dating apps, and women would ask how they knew I wasn't a serial killer. "If I was a serial killer, it would be pretty stupid to leave a bunch of digital records of me being the last person my victim talked to, I'd get caught immediately."

            1 Reply Last reply
            6
            • B [email protected]

              I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.

              J This user is from outside of this forum
              J This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #17

              You know, this weirdly makes the whole shit world-state seem much more natural lol

              1 Reply Last reply
              12
              • B [email protected]

                It's just funny to use the word that means a different thing but close

                wr5@lemmy.worldW This user is from outside of this forum
                wr5@lemmy.worldW This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #18

                I'm not shoplifting this child.

                B 1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • wr5@lemmy.worldW [email protected]

                  I'm not shoplifting this child.

                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                  B This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #19

                  Or alternatively,

                  I'm not kidnapping this money/these goods/etc

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • B [email protected]

                    I don't think the apple falls very far from the tree

                    C This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #20

                    Found the childless one who knows better. Always at least one of you.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    5
                    • W [email protected]

                      10:1 odds that neither of you currently have a toddler.

                      C This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #21

                      Nah, that's a fools bet lol.

                      T 1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • R [email protected]

                        That's the best you can do. Upset is normal. Throwing things is normal.

                        Kicking, punching and violence to the point where you have to make excuses that you're not kidnapping isn't.

                        5 This user is from outside of this forum
                        5 This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote last edited by
                        #22

                        I think that really depends on the kid too. I've had one behave like that fairly regularly until he grew out of it; the other will get upset rarely, and never in public.

                        The post read to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making an excuse.

                        R 1 Reply Last reply
                        7
                        • B [email protected]

                          I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.

                          dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                          dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #23

                          I love hearing other parents have asshole kids, because it reminds me that I'm not alone.

                          absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA djdarren@sopuli.xyzD 2 Replies Last reply
                          39
                          • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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                            M This user is from outside of this forum
                            M This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #24

                            ... but if you were to call the cops on me at least it would be a brief yet welcome reprieve from parenting while they come to the inevitable conclusion that he is mine and they don't want him around either

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            19
                            • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
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                              wrote last edited by [email protected]
                              #25

                              Yeah kids. Cannot throw them away, cannot kill'em. Or so says the "law" apparently.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              3
                              • 5 [email protected]

                                I think that really depends on the kid too. I've had one behave like that fairly regularly until he grew out of it; the other will get upset rarely, and never in public.

                                The post read to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making an excuse.

                                R This user is from outside of this forum
                                R This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #26

                                to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making

                                That's fair. I'd still get smacked upside my head by my wife, but to each their own 🙂

                                T 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • C [email protected]

                                  Nah, that's a fools bet lol.

                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #27

                                  Sounds like you're an AI.

                                  C L 2 Replies Last reply
                                  3
                                  • B [email protected]

                                    I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.

                                    V This user is from outside of this forum
                                    V This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #28

                                    I mean, the dick punch was really unnecessary but I am glad that other families experience... Weirdness, I guess. And exclusion of a parent.

                                    I can't count how often I read and heard the advice to "just present your kid with two options to choose from".

                                    My kid, even before she became verbal, always wanted option C when presented with two options.

                                    "Do you want this hat or this cap?" "Neither"

                                    "Do you want this blue pants or these red sweatpants?" "I want... a green... dress" we don't even have a green dress.

                                    "Shall we go to the zoo today or do you want to go to the playground with Anna?" "I want to go on the trampoline" .

                                    C B W K 4 Replies Last reply
                                    16
                                    • T [email protected]

                                      Sounds like you're an AI.

                                      C This user is from outside of this forum
                                      C This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #29

                                      You have shit judgment?

                                      T 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • C [email protected]

                                        You have shit judgment?

                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                        #30

                                        I was just following instructions ...

                                        edit: Though I will admit you're not wrong about my judgement.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        3
                                        • C [email protected]

                                          My son fought me getting in the high chair in a restaurant yesterday. Wife had to hold him while I held his legs straight to get in. I feel that

                                          M This user is from outside of this forum
                                          M This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #31

                                          How TF are they so strong!? I also noticed a difference in physical strength between boys and girls - while expected I did not anticipate it being so much different. I really have to use a muscle on my son sometimes and he’s not even 2 yo.

                                          B 1 Reply Last reply
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