Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. Not stealing

Not stealing

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
107 Posts 64 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • B [email protected]

    It's just funny to use the word that means a different thing but close

    wr5@lemmy.worldW This user is from outside of this forum
    wr5@lemmy.worldW This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #18

    I'm not shoplifting this child.

    B 1 Reply Last reply
    1
    • wr5@lemmy.worldW [email protected]

      I'm not shoplifting this child.

      B This user is from outside of this forum
      B This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #19

      Or alternatively,

      I'm not kidnapping this money/these goods/etc

      1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • B [email protected]

        I don't think the apple falls very far from the tree

        C This user is from outside of this forum
        C This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #20

        Found the childless one who knows better. Always at least one of you.

        1 Reply Last reply
        5
        • W [email protected]

          10:1 odds that neither of you currently have a toddler.

          C This user is from outside of this forum
          C This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #21

          Nah, that's a fools bet lol.

          T 1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • R [email protected]

            That's the best you can do. Upset is normal. Throwing things is normal.

            Kicking, punching and violence to the point where you have to make excuses that you're not kidnapping isn't.

            5 This user is from outside of this forum
            5 This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #22

            I think that really depends on the kid too. I've had one behave like that fairly regularly until he grew out of it; the other will get upset rarely, and never in public.

            The post read to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making an excuse.

            R 1 Reply Last reply
            7
            • B [email protected]

              I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.

              dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
              dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #23

              I love hearing other parents have asshole kids, because it reminds me that I'm not alone.

              absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA djdarren@sopuli.xyzD 2 Replies Last reply
              39
              • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                M This user is from outside of this forum
                M This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #24

                ... but if you were to call the cops on me at least it would be a brief yet welcome reprieve from parenting while they come to the inevitable conclusion that he is mine and they don't want him around either

                1 Reply Last reply
                19
                • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  V This user is from outside of this forum
                  V This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                  #25

                  Yeah kids. Cannot throw them away, cannot kill'em. Or so says the "law" apparently.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  3
                  • 5 [email protected]

                    I think that really depends on the kid too. I've had one behave like that fairly regularly until he grew out of it; the other will get upset rarely, and never in public.

                    The post read to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making an excuse.

                    R This user is from outside of this forum
                    R This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #26

                    to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making

                    That's fair. I'd still get smacked upside my head by my wife, but to each their own 🙂

                    T 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • C [email protected]

                      Nah, that's a fools bet lol.

                      T This user is from outside of this forum
                      T This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #27

                      Sounds like you're an AI.

                      C L 2 Replies Last reply
                      3
                      • B [email protected]

                        I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.

                        V This user is from outside of this forum
                        V This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #28

                        I mean, the dick punch was really unnecessary but I am glad that other families experience... Weirdness, I guess. And exclusion of a parent.

                        I can't count how often I read and heard the advice to "just present your kid with two options to choose from".

                        My kid, even before she became verbal, always wanted option C when presented with two options.

                        "Do you want this hat or this cap?" "Neither"

                        "Do you want this blue pants or these red sweatpants?" "I want... a green... dress" we don't even have a green dress.

                        "Shall we go to the zoo today or do you want to go to the playground with Anna?" "I want to go on the trampoline" .

                        C B W K 4 Replies Last reply
                        16
                        • T [email protected]

                          Sounds like you're an AI.

                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #29

                          You have shit judgment?

                          T 1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • C [email protected]

                            You have shit judgment?

                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by [email protected]
                            #30

                            I was just following instructions ...

                            edit: Though I will admit you're not wrong about my judgement.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            3
                            • C [email protected]

                              My son fought me getting in the high chair in a restaurant yesterday. Wife had to hold him while I held his legs straight to get in. I feel that

                              M This user is from outside of this forum
                              M This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #31

                              How TF are they so strong!? I also noticed a difference in physical strength between boys and girls - while expected I did not anticipate it being so much different. I really have to use a muscle on my son sometimes and he’s not even 2 yo.

                              B 1 Reply Last reply
                              2
                              • T [email protected]

                                Sounds like you're an AI.

                                L This user is from outside of this forum
                                L This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #32

                                No, I counted their fingers and they're clean

                                T 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • L [email protected]

                                  No, I counted their fingers and they're clean

                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #33

                                  More than I can say of my own fingers, to be fair.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • V [email protected]

                                    I mean, the dick punch was really unnecessary but I am glad that other families experience... Weirdness, I guess. And exclusion of a parent.

                                    I can't count how often I read and heard the advice to "just present your kid with two options to choose from".

                                    My kid, even before she became verbal, always wanted option C when presented with two options.

                                    "Do you want this hat or this cap?" "Neither"

                                    "Do you want this blue pants or these red sweatpants?" "I want... a green... dress" we don't even have a green dress.

                                    "Shall we go to the zoo today or do you want to go to the playground with Anna?" "I want to go on the trampoline" .

                                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #34

                                    The problem with parenting advice is every kid is different. This becomes clear after raised a gaggle of them. Anyone with one child that is giving advice is clueless.

                                    My suggestion is not to give that type of child options. Tell them what's happening. Then do it. May that not work any better and ignores why you may have started giving them choices.

                                    You didn't specify an age but typically choices are best for later development. Toddlers are terrorists and one should never negotiate with a terrorist.

                                    B V B B 4 Replies Last reply
                                    13
                                    • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      M This user is from outside of this forum
                                      M This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #35

                                      My son(11) will say, "you can't do that, I'll call the police and they will arrest you". I say, great maybe I'll get some peace and quiet. He doesn't know I won't, so it works. Lol.

                                      P K 2 Replies Last reply
                                      11
                                      • ickplant@lemmy.worldI [email protected]
                                        This post did not contain any content.
                                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #36

                                        There is a reason for declining child birth numbers... it has everything to do with more people knowing what they are really getting into.

                                        M B G heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH G 5 Replies Last reply
                                        24
                                        • R [email protected]

                                          to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making

                                          That's fair. I'd still get smacked upside my head by my wife, but to each their own 🙂

                                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #37

                                          That's fair. I'd still get smacked upside my head by my wife, but to each their own 🙂

                                          That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

                                          R 1 Reply Last reply
                                          3
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups