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  3. Always wanted to start a cult

Always wanted to start a cult

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • B [email protected]

    Dibs on grandma

    snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
    snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by [email protected]
    #9

    I already dibbed on grandma all night long

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
    • K [email protected]

      Bad offer you have no honor

      snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
      snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      How dare you accuse me of lack of honor

      Only one way to settle this....

      K 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH [email protected]

        dibs on black sheep niece you never see or talk about except in hushed tones to whisper that she might be worshiping satan (hint, i am not worshiping satan, i am cooking pasta)

        snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
        snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        But WE are worshipping Satan.

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        • brobot9000@lemmy.worldB [email protected]

          Last sentence is a red flag

          snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
          snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          Can we negotiate? How does 70% sound?

          G 1 Reply Last reply
          2
          • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]

            How dare you accuse me of lack of honor

            Only one way to settle this....

            K This user is from outside of this forum
            K This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            Family fued?

            snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • K [email protected]

              Family fued?

              snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
              snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY PUNCHLINE.

              NOW WHO HAS NO HONOR

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              0
              • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                dual_sport_dork@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                dual_sport_dork@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                Niko, cousin! Let's go bowling!

                1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]

                  I'm sorry, applications for uncles closed last week. You may apply for sister next week.

                  fabian@lemmy.zipF This user is from outside of this forum
                  fabian@lemmy.zipF This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  What about great-uncle?

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • O [email protected]

                    Ill fight you for that role. Ill fight you, and ruin thanksgiving.

                    And post links to my deviantart page on facebook events for winter solstice.

                    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    It's more fun for me, a big hairy middle aged balding guy, to be the teenage niece though

                    O 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Can I be that guy from down the street that seems cool but no one talks to him or knows his name?

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH [email protected]

                        It's more fun for me, a big hairy middle aged balding guy, to be the teenage niece though

                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        Shit, you're right. But i was thrown out for being queer as a teen, so never really got to be the teen niece. I've got the whole tragic fucked up thing going, and my dumpster fire burns with the heat of a million dying stars.

                        So if we're going rule of funny, it's you. Rule of drama, it's me.

                        heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • O [email protected]

                          Shit, you're right. But i was thrown out for being queer as a teen, so never really got to be the teen niece. I've got the whole tragic fucked up thing going, and my dumpster fire burns with the heat of a million dying stars.

                          So if we're going rule of funny, it's you. Rule of drama, it's me.

                          heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                          heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                          #20

                          this is true. we can have two nieces. i say we don't tell anyone and wear the same clothes, and never be in the same room at the same time.

                          S 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            But cult so kissing cousins? Right?

                            snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • R [email protected]

                              But cult so kissing cousins? Right?

                              snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                              snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              That was the case pre cult too

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]

                                Can we negotiate? How does 70% sound?

                                G This user is from outside of this forum
                                G This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                The Old Ones will brook no compromise with these infantile new-age deities.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  svcross@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  svcross@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  Can I be the cousin that is never present, unless there's an emergency?

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH [email protected]

                                    this is true. we can have two nieces. i say we don't tell anyone and wear the same clothes, and never be in the same room at the same time.

                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    Hey niece, I like your new look. Glad to see you rocking the big, hairy middle age guy look. Really digging then balding. What made you decide this new look?

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      I mean, if you believe in the Bible, everyone on the planet is related. 🤷🏻‍♂️

                                      M 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                                        This post did not contain any content.
                                        W This user is from outside of this forum
                                        W This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        I call dibs on being "Cousin Johnny"
                                        I will only attend baptisms, weddings, funerals, and maybe the social events afterwards.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          yourmomstrashman@lemmy.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                                          yourmomstrashman@lemmy.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          Can I be house cat. meow mreow meow mrrrp

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