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  3. Always wanted to start a cult

Always wanted to start a cult

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH [email protected]

    dibs on black sheep niece you never see or talk about except in hushed tones to whisper that she might be worshiping satan (hint, i am not worshiping satan, i am cooking pasta)

    snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
    snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #11

    But WE are worshipping Satan.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • brobot9000@lemmy.worldB [email protected]

      Last sentence is a red flag

      snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
      snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #12

      Can we negotiate? How does 70% sound?

      G 1 Reply Last reply
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      • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]

        How dare you accuse me of lack of honor

        Only one way to settle this....

        K This user is from outside of this forum
        K This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #13

        Family fued?

        snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS 1 Reply Last reply
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        • K [email protected]

          Family fued?

          snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
          snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #14

          THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY PUNCHLINE.

          NOW WHO HAS NO HONOR

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          • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            dual_sport_dork@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
            dual_sport_dork@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #15

            Niko, cousin! Let's go bowling!

            1 Reply Last reply
            2
            • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]

              I'm sorry, applications for uncles closed last week. You may apply for sister next week.

              fabian@lemmy.zipF This user is from outside of this forum
              fabian@lemmy.zipF This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #16

              What about great-uncle?

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • O [email protected]

                Ill fight you for that role. Ill fight you, and ruin thanksgiving.

                And post links to my deviantart page on facebook events for winter solstice.

                heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #17

                It's more fun for me, a big hairy middle aged balding guy, to be the teenage niece though

                O 1 Reply Last reply
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                • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #18

                  Can I be that guy from down the street that seems cool but no one talks to him or knows his name?

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                  • heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH [email protected]

                    It's more fun for me, a big hairy middle aged balding guy, to be the teenage niece though

                    O This user is from outside of this forum
                    O This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #19

                    Shit, you're right. But i was thrown out for being queer as a teen, so never really got to be the teen niece. I've got the whole tragic fucked up thing going, and my dumpster fire burns with the heat of a million dying stars.

                    So if we're going rule of funny, it's you. Rule of drama, it's me.

                    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • O [email protected]

                      Shit, you're right. But i was thrown out for being queer as a teen, so never really got to be the teen niece. I've got the whole tragic fucked up thing going, and my dumpster fire burns with the heat of a million dying stars.

                      So if we're going rule of funny, it's you. Rule of drama, it's me.

                      heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                      heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                      #20

                      this is true. we can have two nieces. i say we don't tell anyone and wear the same clothes, and never be in the same room at the same time.

                      S 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                        This post did not contain any content.
                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #21

                        But cult so kissing cousins? Right?

                        snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R [email protected]

                          But cult so kissing cousins? Right?

                          snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                          snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #22

                          That was the case pre cult too

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]

                            Can we negotiate? How does 70% sound?

                            G This user is from outside of this forum
                            G This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #23

                            The Old Ones will brook no compromise with these infantile new-age deities.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              svcross@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                              svcross@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #24

                              Can I be the cousin that is never present, unless there's an emergency?

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH [email protected]

                                this is true. we can have two nieces. i say we don't tell anyone and wear the same clothes, and never be in the same room at the same time.

                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #25

                                Hey niece, I like your new look. Glad to see you rocking the big, hairy middle age guy look. Really digging then balding. What made you decide this new look?

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #26

                                  I mean, if you believe in the Bible, everyone on the planet is related. 🤷🏻‍♂️

                                  M 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    W This user is from outside of this forum
                                    W This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #27

                                    I call dibs on being "Cousin Johnny"
                                    I will only attend baptisms, weddings, funerals, and maybe the social events afterwards.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • snokenkeekaguard@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      yourmomstrashman@lemmy.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                                      yourmomstrashman@lemmy.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #28

                                      Can I be house cat. meow mreow meow mrrrp

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                                        I mean, if you believe in the Bible, everyone on the planet is related. 🤷🏻‍♂️

                                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                                        #29

                                        Believe it biach, were all cousins, on our mamas side

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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