Everybody gets one [choose wisely]
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wrote last edited by [email protected]
I am neither wizard nor sandwich-assembler for this, but hopefully you enjoy this ham sandwich.
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2 kittens
Eight people are now standing in your living room; it's two pairs of the alternative rock band "Kitten". Looking at their other selves, they start panicking:
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I wanna be my fursona.
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Could you dissapear all the facisim thats popping up everywhere? That would be super.
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Can you clear both my nasal passages so I can breath through them simultaneously?
I dont think there is a wizard that powerful.
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Can you clear both my nasal passages so I can breath through them simultaneously?
Sure. You now have an extra nose on the side of your face. The nasal passages are clear.
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For myself, can't think of much, just a good coffee. I never mastered the art of arabica-dabra. See you at the next wizard summit.
There, in front of you, a good coffee. It's really good. It's the best damn thing you've ever tasted. Desperately, you lick the last drop; the memory of this coffee makes everything else taste dull in comparison. It's something like having trouble seeing after exposure to bright light:
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There's always an altruist. Okay, all harmful wishes before this request are hereby revoked! It's like it never happened, except you don't get to wish again:
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@[email protected] -- Zuckerburg never got diarrhea. But his face still looks like that.
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@[email protected] - Capitalism never fell and society never collapsed.
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@[email protected] - Never got stuck in a time loop.
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@[email protected] - Utopia never lead to human galactic dominance.
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@[email protected] - The new socialist president was never assassinated.
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@[email protected] - The dragon "Wyvern of Mordiford" never existed and didn't eat humans.
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@[email protected] - Never became a millionaire and never got non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
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@[email protected] - Never got jetpacks. No children were harmed.
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@[email protected] - The advance A.I. "V.I.K.I." was never developed. Digital slop abounds.
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@[email protected] - The Earth never collided with the Sun at nearly the speed of light.
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@[email protected] - Never lost ten years of memory. But does remember the bad dinner.
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@[email protected] - Increased empathy never led to fascism.
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@[email protected] - A man named Donald John Trump was born.
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@[email protected] -- You are no longer uncontrollably perennially happy.
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@[email protected] -- Popcorn shrimp did not rain from the sky and collapse the ecosystem.
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@[email protected] -- Dual memories of past and future never harmed you. The memories are gone.
wrote last edited by [email protected]But what if the kids who use jetpacks without helmets go on to cause more net harm? You know they would.
So technically, wishing to cancel all wishes that cause any harm can cause more harm, and thus the wish cancels itself.
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everyone can now shape-shift at will. this has always been the case.
Everyone can now shape-shift into a perfect copy of any other person that they've seen. Society collapses due to lack of trust. (You said everyone can "now" and "this has always been". Hence, rewriting history was a second wish.)
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There's always an altruist. Okay, all harmful wishes before this request are hereby revoked! It's like it never happened, except you don't get to wish again:
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@[email protected] -- Zuckerburg never got diarrhea. But his face still looks like that.
-
@[email protected] - Capitalism never fell and society never collapsed.
-
@[email protected] - Never got stuck in a time loop.
-
@[email protected] - Utopia never lead to human galactic dominance.
-
@[email protected] - The new socialist president was never assassinated.
-
@[email protected] - The dragon "Wyvern of Mordiford" never existed and didn't eat humans.
-
@[email protected] - Never became a millionaire and never got non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
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@[email protected] - Never got jetpacks. No children were harmed.
-
@[email protected] - The advance A.I. "V.I.K.I." was never developed. Digital slop abounds.
-
@[email protected] - The Earth never collided with the Sun at nearly the speed of light.
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@[email protected] - Never lost ten years of memory. But does remember the bad dinner.
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@[email protected] - Increased empathy never led to fascism.
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@[email protected] - A man named Donald John Trump was born.
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@[email protected] -- You are no longer uncontrollably perennially happy.
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@[email protected] -- Popcorn shrimp did not rain from the sky and collapse the ecosystem.
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@[email protected] -- Dual memories of past and future never harmed you. The memories are gone.
W socialism
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disappear the orange orc.
There is an orange orc on the loose: I have made him invisible.
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best boyscout troop ever
24 of the best boyscouts in history form. Camping, knot-tying, and team building exercises ensue. You aren't associated with them, but know they exist and grow up to be upstanding citizens.
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Sure. You now have an extra nose on the side of your face. The nasal passages are clear.
If it lets me breathe properly and consistently living in the south, I don't even care, throw another one on the other side of my face too as a backup just in case.
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For myself, can't think of much, just a good coffee. I never mastered the art of arabica-dabra. See you at the next wizard summit.
Good is relative, you forget all coffee you've had previously and keep access to your current coffee. All other coffee is permanently worse than this one going forward.
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I want my teeth back and healthy
You got it: you now have teeth back (i.e., teeth on your back). They are remarkably healthy, despite being outside your mouth.
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If it lets me breathe properly and consistently living in the south, I don't even care, throw another one on the other side of my face too as a backup just in case.
Damn, that sounds rough
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100 tacos for $100 deal at the local shack
The printers at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing run wild printing money; the Federal Reserve distributes the money across the country. Hyperinflation like the United States has never seen drives the prices of goods and services up 90%. The $100 tacos now cost $1000. You may still choose to purchase them, however:
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Damn, that sounds rough
Don't even have to make it symmetrical my friend, I am still down.
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Gimme that lich thaumaturgist package, with a polar mountain tower built on a leyline convergence 50 levels up and 50 down. I've got a lot of astral projecting I want to do
You astral project successfully, but the astral realm is filled with horrors beyond your comprehension. They note your presence...
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There, in front of you, a good coffee. It's really good. It's the best damn thing you've ever tasted. Desperately, you lick the last drop; the memory of this coffee makes everything else taste dull in comparison. It's something like having trouble seeing after exposure to bright light:
I shall savor the memory forever.
