Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
312 Posts 117 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

    Good one! Your wish has been granted (but in an alternate universe). After a period of turmoil, the citizens of Earth C-132 create a utopic society:

    P This user is from outside of this forum
    P This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #24

    This is why the apes blew everything up.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

      They're still edible:

      P This user is from outside of this forum
      P This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #25

      Why do they have anuses?

      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • jimmux@programming.devJ [email protected]

        Jetpacks for everyone. Cheers.

        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by [email protected]
        #26

        Everyone now owns a jetpack. They are extremely loud and kids often use them without helmets:

        M 1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          R This user is from outside of this forum
          R This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #27

          Gender changing potion

          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
          2
          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            D This user is from outside of this forum
            D This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #28

            Am we up the whimsy levels? Not enough daily, base level, whimsy anymore

            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • R [email protected]

              Gender changing potion

              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #29

              Here you go. These are gender-fluids. Once ingested, someone who identifies as either a man or a woman will now identify as gender-fluid. (Does not come with physical changes):

              D 1 Reply Last reply
              2
              • P [email protected]

                Why do they have anuses?

                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #30

                They're a bit stale

                F 1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • D [email protected]

                  Am we up the whimsy levels? Not enough daily, base level, whimsy anymore

                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #31

                  Happy Cake Day. Is this a wish?

                  D 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    random_character_a@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
                    random_character_a@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #32

                    I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.

                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • random_character_a@lemmy.worldR [email protected]

                      I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.

                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #33

                      Granted, but all of your farts are now noticeably audible. You can no longer fart quietly:

                      D 1 Reply Last reply
                      3
                      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                        Everyone now owns a jetpack. They are extremely loud and kids often use them without helmets:

                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #34

                        Births are now even more painful with all the baby's just blasting out of there with their jetpacks

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          _ This user is from outside of this forum
                          _ This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #35

                          A dragon.

                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            A This user is from outside of this forum
                            A This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #36

                            A divorce

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                              Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:

                              E This user is from outside of this forum
                              E This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #37

                              Let's take her for a test drive!

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                Happy Cake Day. Is this a wish?

                                D This user is from outside of this forum
                                D This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #38

                                Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • _ [email protected]

                                  A dragon.

                                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #39

                                  The fully grown Wyvern of Mordiford appears next to you, standing 20ft (6 meters) tall. It is friendly to you, but has a taste for human flesh.

                                  tonava@sopuli.xyzT _ 2 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • D [email protected]

                                    Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

                                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #40

                                    Everyone is now slightly more whimsical. It's a sillier world to live in:

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #41

                                      Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

                                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB G 2 Replies Last reply
                                      1
                                      • B [email protected]

                                        Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #42

                                        Sure. Here are some berries that will go moldy in 3 days:

                                        K 1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #43

                                          I would like to have enough money that I don't have to work anymore

                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups