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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • L [email protected]

    Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?

    D This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #24

    My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

    C B 2 Replies Last reply
    12
    • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

      "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

      R This user is from outside of this forum
      R This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #25

      To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they're ovulating.

      1 Reply Last reply
      10
      • D [email protected]

        Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

        B This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #26

        Certainly, m'lady!

        1 Reply Last reply
        2
        • D [email protected]

          My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

          C This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #27

          Why, thank you, I've just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

            "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

            S This user is from outside of this forum
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            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #28

            Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

            lime@feddit.nuL 1 Reply Last reply
            34
            • S [email protected]

              Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

              lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
              lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #29

              no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

              asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA 1 Reply Last reply
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              • S [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                B This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #30

                "No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!"

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • B [email protected]

                  Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

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                  wrote last edited by
                  #31

                  Hi. Welcome to the Internet.

                  C 1 Reply Last reply
                  5
                  • S [email protected]

                    We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                    bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                    #32

                    That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

                    S E 2 Replies Last reply
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                    • S [email protected]
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #33

                      Suckers gonna suck

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • S [email protected]

                        We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                        washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                        washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #34

                        Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.

                        F 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • S [email protected]

                          We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                          F This user is from outside of this forum
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                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #35

                          I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          4
                          • I [email protected]

                            Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?

                            D This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote last edited by [email protected]
                            #36

                            It's typo progressive for him. He's the "your wife shouldn't get wet" type.

                            Edit: autocorrect fail in the worst/best way there

                            O 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • B [email protected]

                              Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                              cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                              cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #37

                              Kids these days don’t remember the internet before /s, where you had to use context to tell of someone was being sarcastic or not.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • lime@feddit.nuL [email protected]

                                no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

                                asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                                asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #38

                                Nilered did a video on this, it's technically at least cheese-adjacent

                                https://youtu.be/0aGNAxN5Z-o

                                lime@feddit.nuL kolanaki@pawb.socialK 2 Replies Last reply
                                9
                                • S [email protected]
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #39

                                  I feel sorry for any guy dumb enough to try this. Also my friends mom when i was 13 vacuumed every day and rearranged all furniture and vacuumed behind everything once a week.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • S [email protected]
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #40

                                    Rings true to me. My wife never vacuums and is past menopause.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • S [email protected]
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #41

                                      My wife always, always wanted pasta right before her period. It was always a good warning flag for her/us. So, this thread is a bit believable, …for me.

                                      T M ethaver@kbin.earthE 3 Replies Last reply
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                                      • asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA [email protected]

                                        Nilered did a video on this, it's technically at least cheese-adjacent

                                        https://youtu.be/0aGNAxN5Z-o

                                        lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                                        lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #42

                                        i mean, so is grass

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • K [email protected]

                                          Written by Coolguy Sexhaver.

                                          C This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #43

                                          No relation.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          20
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