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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

    "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

    R This user is from outside of this forum
    R This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #25

    To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they're ovulating.

    1 Reply Last reply
    11
    • D [email protected]

      Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

      B This user is from outside of this forum
      B This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #26

      Certainly, m'lady!

      1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • D [email protected]

        My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

        C This user is from outside of this forum
        C This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #27

        Why, thank you, I've just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.

        1 Reply Last reply
        5
        • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

          "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #28

          Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

          lime@feddit.nuL 1 Reply Last reply
          36
          • S [email protected]

            Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

            lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
            lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #29

            no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

            asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA 1 Reply Last reply
            30
            • S [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              B This user is from outside of this forum
              B This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #30

              "No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!"

              1 Reply Last reply
              2
              • B [email protected]

                Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                T This user is from outside of this forum
                T This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #31

                Hi. Welcome to the Internet.

                C 1 Reply Last reply
                5
                • S [email protected]

                  We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                  bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                  #32

                  That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

                  S E 2 Replies Last reply
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                  • S [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
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                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #33

                    Suckers gonna suck

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • S [email protected]

                      We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                      washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                      washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #34

                      Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.

                      F 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • S [email protected]

                        We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                        F This user is from outside of this forum
                        F This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #35

                        I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        4
                        • I [email protected]

                          Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?

                          D This user is from outside of this forum
                          D This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                          #36

                          It's typo progressive for him. He's the "your wife shouldn't get wet" type.

                          Edit: autocorrect fail in the worst/best way there

                          O 1 Reply Last reply
                          6
                          • B [email protected]

                            Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                            cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                            cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #37

                            Kids these days don’t remember the internet before /s, where you had to use context to tell of someone was being sarcastic or not.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            4
                            • lime@feddit.nuL [email protected]

                              no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

                              asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                              asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #38

                              Nilered did a video on this, it's technically at least cheese-adjacent

                              https://youtu.be/0aGNAxN5Z-o

                              lime@feddit.nuL kolanaki@pawb.socialK 2 Replies Last reply
                              10
                              • S [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                T This user is from outside of this forum
                                T This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #39

                                I feel sorry for any guy dumb enough to try this. Also my friends mom when i was 13 vacuumed every day and rearranged all furniture and vacuumed behind everything once a week.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                5
                                • S [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #40

                                  Rings true to me. My wife never vacuums and is past menopause.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  10
                                  • S [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #41

                                    My wife always, always wanted pasta right before her period. It was always a good warning flag for her/us. So, this thread is a bit believable, …for me.

                                    T M ethaver@kbin.earthE 3 Replies Last reply
                                    2
                                    • asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA [email protected]

                                      Nilered did a video on this, it's technically at least cheese-adjacent

                                      https://youtu.be/0aGNAxN5Z-o

                                      lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                                      lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #42

                                      i mean, so is grass

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      13
                                      • K [email protected]

                                        Written by Coolguy Sexhaver.

                                        C This user is from outside of this forum
                                        C This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #43

                                        No relation.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        20
                                        • cruxifux@feddit.nlC [email protected]

                                          This has to be satire.

                                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #44

                                          I thought so too until I went to the website and I still couldn't tell 😕

                                          cruxifux@feddit.nlC 1 Reply Last reply
                                          4
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