Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
122 Posts 80 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • S [email protected]
    This post did not contain any content.
    E This user is from outside of this forum
    E This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #63

    Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.

    G entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE 2 Replies Last reply
    16
    • S [email protected]

      We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

      E This user is from outside of this forum
      E This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #64

      I tried this with my fiance with a dairy allergy and now I'm single again.

      1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • K [email protected]

        Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.

        E This user is from outside of this forum
        E This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #65

        Works for a lot of men too. I mean not me. I prefer mozzarella.

        1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • S [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.orgV This user is from outside of this forum
          venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.orgV This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #66

          In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.

          O L 2 Replies Last reply
          56
          • I [email protected]

            TIL I ovulate every Sunday πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

            S This user is from outside of this forum
            S This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #67

            Every day here and I don't even have ovaries!

            ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • D [email protected]

              The Cheat is vacuuming.

              S This user is from outside of this forum
              S This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #68

              The Cheat is ovulating.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • bluelinebae@midwest.socialB [email protected]

                That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

                E This user is from outside of this forum
                E This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #69

                Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • E [email protected]

                  Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.

                  G This user is from outside of this forum
                  G This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #70

                  Why not both?

                  E 1 Reply Last reply
                  5
                  • venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.orgV [email protected]

                    In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.

                    O This user is from outside of this forum
                    O This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                    #71

                    Yeah i always take stock and usually calm down when a guy im arguing with points that out.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    10
                    • I [email protected]

                      TIL I ovulate every Sunday πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #72

                      Where the fuck do you keep all the eggs? Do you have a walk in fridge?

                      M 1 Reply Last reply
                      5
                      • S [email protected]

                        We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #73

                        My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.

                        dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD I 2 Replies Last reply
                        7
                        • cruxifux@feddit.nlC [email protected]

                          This has to be satire.

                          O This user is from outside of this forum
                          O This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                          #74

                          It's not. This has worked on me four times.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • walk_blessed@piefed.blahaj.zoneW [email protected]

                            I am once again asking lemmy users to check what community they're in before commenting

                            O This user is from outside of this forum
                            O This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #75

                            You can't really expect consciousness from straight cis men.

                            E 1 Reply Last reply
                            2
                            • D [email protected]

                              It's typo progressive for him. He's the "your wife shouldn't get wet" type.

                              Edit: autocorrect fail in the worst/best way there

                              O This user is from outside of this forum
                              O This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #76

                              Dont get her wet, don't feed her after midnight. Hes very strict about rules for his wife.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              2
                              • E [email protected]

                                Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.

                                entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE This user is from outside of this forum
                                entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #77

                                Pretty sure it's a joke.

                                E 1 Reply Last reply
                                16
                                • O [email protected]

                                  My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.

                                  dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                                  dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #78

                                  My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can't believe. 10/10 mom and person.

                                  O 1 Reply Last reply
                                  3
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #79

                                    Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we're getting hitched.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    7
                                    • S [email protected]

                                      kilgore_trout@feddit.itK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      kilgore_trout@feddit.itK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #80

                                      Bro, plastic cheese…

                                      H 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE [email protected]

                                        Pretty sure it's a joke.

                                        E This user is from outside of this forum
                                        E This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #81

                                        We live in a post irony world and I literally can't tell the difference without knowing the source.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        17
                                        • G [email protected]

                                          Why not both?

                                          E This user is from outside of this forum
                                          E This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #82

                                          Of course, I forgot answer C. All of the above.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          2
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups