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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • S [email protected]

    We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

    E This user is from outside of this forum
    E This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #64

    I tried this with my fiance with a dairy allergy and now I'm single again.

    1 Reply Last reply
    2
    • K [email protected]

      Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.

      E This user is from outside of this forum
      E This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #65

      Works for a lot of men too. I mean not me. I prefer mozzarella.

      1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • S [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.orgV This user is from outside of this forum
        venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.orgV This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #66

        In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.

        O L 2 Replies Last reply
        56
        • I [email protected]

          TIL I ovulate every Sunday πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #67

          Every day here and I don't even have ovaries!

          ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • D [email protected]

            The Cheat is vacuuming.

            S This user is from outside of this forum
            S This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #68

            The Cheat is ovulating.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • bluelinebae@midwest.socialB [email protected]

              That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

              E This user is from outside of this forum
              E This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #69

              Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol

              1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • E [email protected]

                Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.

                G This user is from outside of this forum
                G This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #70

                Why not both?

                E 1 Reply Last reply
                5
                • venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.orgV [email protected]

                  In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.

                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                  #71

                  Yeah i always take stock and usually calm down when a guy im arguing with points that out.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  10
                  • I [email protected]

                    TIL I ovulate every Sunday πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

                    O This user is from outside of this forum
                    O This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #72

                    Where the fuck do you keep all the eggs? Do you have a walk in fridge?

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
                    5
                    • S [email protected]

                      We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #73

                      My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.

                      dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD I 2 Replies Last reply
                      7
                      • cruxifux@feddit.nlC [email protected]

                        This has to be satire.

                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                        #74

                        It's not. This has worked on me four times.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • walk_blessed@piefed.blahaj.zoneW [email protected]

                          I am once again asking lemmy users to check what community they're in before commenting

                          O This user is from outside of this forum
                          O This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #75

                          You can't really expect consciousness from straight cis men.

                          E 1 Reply Last reply
                          2
                          • D [email protected]

                            It's typo progressive for him. He's the "your wife shouldn't get wet" type.

                            Edit: autocorrect fail in the worst/best way there

                            O This user is from outside of this forum
                            O This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #76

                            Dont get her wet, don't feed her after midnight. Hes very strict about rules for his wife.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            2
                            • E [email protected]

                              Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.

                              entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE This user is from outside of this forum
                              entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #77

                              Pretty sure it's a joke.

                              E 1 Reply Last reply
                              16
                              • O [email protected]

                                My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.

                                dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                                dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #78

                                My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can't believe. 10/10 mom and person.

                                O 1 Reply Last reply
                                3
                                • S [email protected]

                                  dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                                  dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #79

                                  Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we're getting hitched.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  8
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    kilgore_trout@feddit.itK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    kilgore_trout@feddit.itK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #80

                                    Bro, plastic cheese…

                                    H 1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE [email protected]

                                      Pretty sure it's a joke.

                                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #81

                                      We live in a post irony world and I literally can't tell the difference without knowing the source.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      17
                                      • G [email protected]

                                        Why not both?

                                        E This user is from outside of this forum
                                        E This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #82

                                        Of course, I forgot answer C. All of the above.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        2
                                        • omniman@anarchist.nexusO [email protected]

                                          Fill her up with love πŸ₯ΊπŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ

                                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #83

                                          Few squirts of liquid love

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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