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  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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    wrote last edited by
    #35

    A dragon.

    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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      wrote last edited by
      #36

      A divorce

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      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

        Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:

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        wrote last edited by
        #37

        Let's take her for a test drive!

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        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

          Happy Cake Day. Is this a wish?

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          wrote last edited by
          #38

          Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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          • _ [email protected]

            A dragon.

            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #39

            The fully grown Wyvern of Mordiford appears next to you, standing 20ft (6 meters) tall. It is friendly to you, but has a taste for human flesh.

            tonava@sopuli.xyzT _ 2 Replies Last reply
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            • D [email protected]

              Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #40

              Everyone is now slightly more whimsical. It's a sillier world to live in:

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              • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                wrote last edited by
                #41

                Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB G 2 Replies Last reply
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                • B [email protected]

                  Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #42

                  Sure. Here are some berries that will go moldy in 3 days:

                  K 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                    tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #43

                    I would like to have enough money that I don't have to work anymore

                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                      You will buy a euromillions ticket with the numbers "8 15 26 33 41 9 10". These are the numbers for a previous EuroMillions jackpot, which you have "won" against all odds. Im leben kann Mann nicht alles haben:

                      tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                      tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #44

                      In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler

                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • tja@sh.itjust.worksT [email protected]

                        In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler

                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote last edited by
                        #45

                        From Tue. July 22 2025 . But your friend is probably already rich and is hiding it from you.

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                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #46

                          Eh I don't need much just gimme next week’s lottery numbers thx

                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #47

                            I‘d like some getting my shit together and being happy for once to go please.

                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • tja@sh.itjust.worksT [email protected]

                              I would like to have enough money that I don't have to work anymore

                              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #48

                              You receive a letter in the mail informing you that you have been exposed to high amounts of Monsanto's Roundup Weedkiller, which is highly correlated to non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (NHL). Monsanto/Bayer have been ordered to award you a settlement of $10,000,000.0 (or the equivalent in your local currency):

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                              • T [email protected]

                                Eh I don't need much just gimme next week’s lottery numbers thx

                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #49

                                Sure, if you play "7 28 27 63 54 25" for the Powerball drawing on Saturday, July 26th, 2025, you will win $7 :

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                                • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #50

                                  While youre at it could you whip me up a post-scarcity fully-automated utopia real quick?

                                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #51

                                    boyfriend (human, my age, regular lifespan, attracted to me, and i'm attracted to him), and a billion dollars (in US currency, no strings attached, not any blood money)

                                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB S 2 Replies Last reply
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                                    • S [email protected]

                                      I‘d like some getting my shit together and being happy for once to go please.

                                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #52

                                      You are finally happy--eternally happy. Your neurochemistry is now permanently rewired such that you can no longer feel sadness, fear, or embarrassment. You are always grinning and people start to avoid you:

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                                      • S [email protected]

                                        boyfriend (human, my age, regular lifespan, attracted to me, and i'm attracted to him), and a billion dollars (in US currency, no strings attached, not any blood money)

                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #53

                                        I can only grant you one wish. You'll have to choose between the boyfriend or the money.

                                        cracks_inthewalls@sh.itjust.worksC S 2 Replies Last reply
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                                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                          Sure. Here are some berries that will go moldy in 3 days:

                                          K This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #54

                                          Fuck yeah

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