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  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • B [email protected]

    Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

    G This user is from outside of this forum
    G This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #61

    Toss them in a large bowl and sprinkle a bit of baking soda on them and then some apple cider vinegar (or whatever you have, white distilled is fine too), shake them around a bit to get them all foamy then rinse thoroughly. Started doing this (to the plastic container too, just put the whole thing in the bowl) and they'll keep in the original container for a couple weeks in the fridge before the moldyness happens.

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
    • M [email protected]

      You’ve done more than enough, my child. Get yourself something nice.

      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #62

      𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢.

      I conjure myself up some tea.... it verges on the cusp of excessive lemon.

      1 Reply Last reply
      4
      • thetechnician27@lemmy.worldT [email protected]

        A GPT that doesn't destroy the climate by flooding the Internet with digital slop?

        anafabula@discuss.tchncs.deA This user is from outside of this forum
        anafabula@discuss.tchncs.deA This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #63

        Use this better GPT

        U 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          umbrella@lemmy.mlU This user is from outside of this forum
          umbrella@lemmy.mlU This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by [email protected]
          #64

          .

          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
          7
          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            B This user is from outside of this forum
            B This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #65

            I would love a fully functional self powered Star Trek industrial replicator (pre-programmed)... oh, and while you're at it, if you could tweak my brain to do the dopamine thing in a healthy way, I'd appreciate it, but fully understand if that's too much of an ask.

            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • I [email protected]

              To go back in time to be myself 15 years ago with all the knowledge and experience I have now.

              Otherwise I'd like to be the only one capable of telepathy and reading minds at my will.

              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #66

              You open your eyes. Memories of past and future rush through your head at the same time: it's too much for one person to handle!

              I 1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • K [email protected]

                That's just slices of bread. It's not a sandwich unless there's something between the slices of bread!

                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #67

                Got me on a technicality. Okay @[email protected] your sandwich is sentient:

                K 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • umbrella@lemmy.mlU [email protected]

                  .

                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #68

                  Ha! You got it:

                  umbrella@lemmy.mlU 1 Reply Last reply
                  5
                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #69

                    Enough money to live peacefully at all times

                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • A [email protected]

                      Ah great, I would like everything i ever would need to buy ever, always be on super sale. Thanks.

                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                      #70

                      No problem. Miraculously, every time you buy one of something, you get another for 2% off!

                      A 1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                        Ha! You got it:

                        umbrella@lemmy.mlU This user is from outside of this forum
                        umbrella@lemmy.mlU This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                        #71

                        .

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #72

                          Checking this thread to see if anyone asked for Hulk Hogan dead.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            magnetosphere@fedia.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
                            magnetosphere@fedia.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #73

                            Greater empathy is everyone’s ultimate goal, rather than wealth, fame, sexual conquests, etc.

                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • I [email protected]

                              Enough money to live peacefully at all times

                              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #74

                              I have granted you a bank safety deposit box. Inside, there are valuables worth $50,000,000.0 (or the equivalent in your current local currency). You do not know which bank the box is in and the key is not in your current country.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                Got me on a technicality. Okay @[email protected] your sandwich is sentient:

                                K This user is from outside of this forum
                                K This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #75

                                I guess that qualifies as sentence between 2 slices of bread? Idk, good enough for me!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                  It is the Golden Age of humanity. Robots serve, CRISPR cures, and war is unnecessary. Earth becomes a paradise--pure perfection. And so we turn our eyes to the stars. The human race spreads throughout the galaxy. We encounter alien species and subsequently, in our magnanimity, conquer them. We are unity. Every life-form will submit to the peace of our administration: or they will perish.

                                  K This user is from outside of this forum
                                  K This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #76

                                  The future that will probably not happen, or I certainly wouldn't know.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    beebabe@lemmy.worldB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    beebabe@lemmy.worldB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #77

                                    A soft place to land for my kids. I’m tired.

                                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #78

                                      A socialist organization of the economy, where everyone works less and less during the week as technology advances and assists, but doesn't replace, the labor pool.

                                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                        I can only grant you one wish. You'll have to choose between the boyfriend or the money.

                                        cracks_inthewalls@sh.itjust.worksC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        cracks_inthewalls@sh.itjust.worksC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #79

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        2
                                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          D This user is from outside of this forum
                                          D This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #80

                                          One (1) fall of capitalism please

                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                          1
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