Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Programmer Humor
  3. Conditional Baptism

Conditional Baptism

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Programmer Humor
programmerhumor
44 Posts 32 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • C [email protected]

    That honestly seems like the best way to write conditionalBaptize but I still hate it. Probably because IRL you'd just rewrite baptism instead of retrofitting the function with a clever use of id.

    S This user is from outside of this forum
    S This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by [email protected]
    #10

    This is probably an ok use for a GADT. Something like:

    {-# LANGUAGE DataKinds      #-}
    {-# LANGUAGE GADTs          #-}
    {-# LANGUAGE KindSignatures #-}
    
    data Bap = Baptized | Unbaptized
    
    data Person :: Bap -> * where
       Baptize :: Person Unbaptized -> Person Baptized
       NewPerson :: Person Unbaptized
    
    conditionalBaptize :: Person a -> Person Baptized
    conditionalBaptize p =
        case p of NewPerson -> Baptize p
                  Baptize _ -> p
    
    main = return ()
    
    K 1 Reply Last reply
    8
    • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      F This user is from outside of this forum
      F This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #11

      Sounds like Haskell needs an official Saint.

      S 1 Reply Last reply
      3
      • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

        Baptism is such a weird thing. It's ritualized cleansing turned into one and done

        You can get baptized as many times as you like, it doesn't stack

        T This user is from outside of this forum
        T This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #12

        Baptism is such a weird thing.

        I think Haskell is such a weird thing

        E 1 Reply Last reply
        24
        • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

          Can you get more clean than clean?

          Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

          gutek8134@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
          gutek8134@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #13

          I think erasing one's body could make you more clean than clean

          V 1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • S [email protected]

            This is probably an ok use for a GADT. Something like:

            {-# LANGUAGE DataKinds      #-}
            {-# LANGUAGE GADTs          #-}
            {-# LANGUAGE KindSignatures #-}
            
            data Bap = Baptized | Unbaptized
            
            data Person :: Bap -> * where
               Baptize :: Person Unbaptized -> Person Baptized
               NewPerson :: Person Unbaptized
            
            conditionalBaptize :: Person a -> Person Baptized
            conditionalBaptize p =
                case p of NewPerson -> Baptize p
                          Baptize _ -> p
            
            main = return ()
            
            K This user is from outside of this forum
            K This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #14

            Thank you for refactoring baptism. How do we push this to production now?

            stizzah@lemmygrad.mlS 1 Reply Last reply
            10
            • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

              Can you get more clean than clean?

              Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

              _ This user is from outside of this forum
              _ This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #15

              I imagine if baptisms stacked, you could pile on a gazillion of them like ablative armor against incoming sin.

              theneverfox@pawb.socialT N 2 Replies Last reply
              20
              • M [email protected]

                The LDS (Mormons) actually do repeat it, in a sense. Their weekly sacrament is a renewal of their baptismal blessings

                M This user is from outside of this forum
                M This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #16

                Probably the reason some other sects call double-dipping a sin, so as to not be like those Mormons.

                C 1 Reply Last reply
                3
                • K [email protected]

                  Thank you for refactoring baptism. How do we push this to production now?

                  stizzah@lemmygrad.mlS This user is from outside of this forum
                  stizzah@lemmygrad.mlS This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #17

                  Hey hey hey, let's start with a PR, we are not savages here aren't we?

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  3
                  • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    L This user is from outside of this forum
                    L This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #18

                    A 1 Reply Last reply
                    45
                    • C [email protected]

                      Per the actual wiki, some denominations seem to think it's a sin or heresy to do someone more than once. Which seems like what the nullification in the baptize function is supposed to capture.

                      V This user is from outside of this forum
                      V This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #19

                      some denominations seem to think it's a sin or heresy to do someone more than once

                      Those denominations must have really high divorce rates..

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      16
                      • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

                        Can you get more clean than clean?

                        Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

                        V This user is from outside of this forum
                        V This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #20

                        Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

                        Doubly so with religion, though 馃し

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • gutek8134@lemmy.worldG [email protected]

                          I think erasing one's body could make you more clean than clean

                          V This user is from outside of this forum
                          V This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #21

                          So what you're saying is that fundies need to be cremated? Possibly AFTER death from other causes?

                          fuglyduck@lemmy.worldF 1 Reply Last reply
                          2
                          • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

                            Can you get more clean than clean?

                            Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

                            V This user is from outside of this forum
                            V This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #22

                            Conceptual numeracy is a human thing. The universe absolutely cares about quantifiable physical properties which we represent as numbers.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            3
                            • F [email protected]

                              Sounds like Haskell needs an official Saint.

                              S This user is from outside of this forum
                              S This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #23

                              There's an old joke about functional programming separating Church from state.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              10
                              • V [email protected]

                                So what you're saying is that fundies need to be cremated? Possibly AFTER death from other causes?

                                fuglyduck@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                                fuglyduck@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #24

                                no no. they need to switch to Flouroantimonic acid instead of just flowing water.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                2
                                • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                  #25

                                  How would this read try-catch-ing with the Mormon baptism for dead Jewish people ?

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #26

                                    Priest: If you are not yet baptised, I baptise you in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit. Else break.

                                    Parents: *sweating nervously*...else what

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    58
                                    • _ [email protected]

                                      I imagine if baptisms stacked, you could pile on a gazillion of them like ablative armor against incoming sin.

                                      theneverfox@pawb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                                      theneverfox@pawb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #27

                                      Lol, imagine if showers stacked. You could spend a week showering and then all filth just disappears when it touches you

                                      But then, what happens to the filth?

                                      The only way I see this working is if you shower, you just continuously wash filth off yourself. But then does it all just kick in when you walk out of the shower? Or maybe, you never become clean until you've washed a lifetime of filth off yourself, then you're clean forever

                                      I'm imagining every baby just covered in sludge, and after years of washing they become clean. Imagine your kid just never gets cleaner, and everyone just thinks you're a terrible parent. Imagine cleaning your kid and they become clean way ahead of schedule

                                      There's some real existential horror here

                                      U 1 Reply Last reply
                                      7
                                      • T [email protected]

                                        Baptism is such a weird thing.

                                        I think Haskell is such a weird thing

                                        E This user is from outside of this forum
                                        E This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #28

                                        Dunno what to tell ya, it's great.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        3
                                        • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          N This user is from outside of this forum
                                          N This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #29

                                          Haskell mentioned 位 馃挭 位 馃挭 位 馃挭 位 馃挭 位

                                          vitabytesdev@feddit.nlV 1 Reply Last reply
                                          21
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups