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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • I [email protected]

    From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

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    O This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #97

    Wherever.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • E [email protected]

      A bit of sexism, wouldn't be funny otherwise, right?

      O This user is from outside of this forum
      O This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #98

      Yeah thats absolutely what that is. You're so good at reading.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • I [email protected]

        If she doesn't, tell her she's acting crazy.

        M This user is from outside of this forum
        M This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #99

        Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.

        ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
        2
        • I [email protected]

          TIL I ovulate every Sunday šŸ˜‚šŸ˜…

          I This user is from outside of this forum
          I This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #100

          Congrats! šŸŽ‰šŸŽ‰šŸŒ»

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          • L [email protected]

            And if the woman happens to overreact to the period question, just politely tell her to calm down.

            A This user is from outside of this forum
            A This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #101

            ... not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as "sweetie", "honey" or "babe".

            B 1 Reply Last reply
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            • S [email protected]

              We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

              A This user is from outside of this forum
              A This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #102

              The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • S [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                T This user is from outside of this forum
                T This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #103

                Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

                T M 2 Replies Last reply
                22
                • S [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  G This user is from outside of this forum
                  G This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #104

                  I do all the vacuuming here.

                  Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as "incel drivel" and thrown into the fire.

                  M 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • G [email protected]

                    I do all the vacuuming here.

                    Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as "incel drivel" and thrown into the fire.

                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #105

                    Username is definitely relevant. šŸ™‚

                    I would consider your comment to be far more truthful and accurate than what is pictured in the OP.

                    Have a good day.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • H [email protected]

                      Bro, that's cheese coated in wax.

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                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #106

                      It blows my mind that someone cool, intelligent, and attractive enough to read Vonnegut doesn't know such a basic cheese fact.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • A [email protected]

                        ... not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as "sweetie", "honey" or "babe".

                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #107

                        I think "toots" has been overlooked in this comment

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • I [email protected]

                          From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #108

                          It's called a fromagerie, pleb

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • S [email protected]

                            B This user is from outside of this forum
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                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #109

                            True love right there

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                              It's cheese, with stuff added to it. The stuff being more milk and some shit to keep it solid at room temperature as well as shelf-stability. It's essentially a solidified cheese sauce. You can even make it at home.

                              B This user is from outside of this forum
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                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #110

                              But why would you?

                              kolanaki@pawb.socialK 1 Reply Last reply
                              4
                              • T [email protected]

                                Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

                                T This user is from outside of this forum
                                T This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #111

                                You're right, and I find it hilarious that this needs to be noted.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • M [email protected]

                                  Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.

                                  ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                  ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #112

                                  Some females respond better to positive reinforcement. Ask her to give you a little spin/twirl to break the tension and get her moving.

                                  M 1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    Every day here and I don't even have ovaries!

                                    ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                    ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #113

                                    Possibly like "false pregnancy" in dogs?

                                    S 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

                                      Possibly like "false pregnancy" in dogs?

                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #114

                                      I'm in heat thanks to climate change.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • D [email protected]

                                        My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                                        B This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #115

                                        Pretty sure that's my first gag-upvote. Thanks, I guess.

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                                        • ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

                                          Some females respond better to positive reinforcement. Ask her to give you a little spin/twirl to break the tension and get her moving.

                                          M This user is from outside of this forum
                                          M This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #116

                                          I saw the reply in my inbox and had a reaction to "females" there, like "ugh, not one of THESE folks who still talk like that." Because I didn't remember the nature of this thread until I got back into the comments šŸ™‚

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