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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • S [email protected]
    This post did not contain any content.
    I This user is from outside of this forum
    I This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #17

    Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?

    D 1 Reply Last reply
    19
    • G [email protected]

      This must be why the site is still in Beta

      H This user is from outside of this forum
      H This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #18

      I'm surprised they fought the urge to stay alpha forever

      1 Reply Last reply
      3
      • B [email protected]

        No, for that you have to fill her up.

        omniman@anarchist.nexusO This user is from outside of this forum
        omniman@anarchist.nexusO This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #19

        Fill her up with love 🥺👉👈

        A 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • S [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #20

          We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

          kolanaki@pawb.socialK bluelinebae@midwest.socialB washedupcynic@lemmy.caW F K 11 Replies Last reply
          179
          • K [email protected]

            That sounds like Strong Bad's alter ego.

            D This user is from outside of this forum
            D This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #21

            The Cheat is vacuuming.

            S 1 Reply Last reply
            14
            • B [email protected]

              What's sad about learning something new and getting laid?

              D This user is from outside of this forum
              D This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #22

              Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

              B 1 Reply Last reply
              9
              • S [email protected]

                We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #23

                "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                R S K 3 Replies Last reply
                60
                • L [email protected]

                  Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?

                  D This user is from outside of this forum
                  D This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #24

                  My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                  C B 2 Replies Last reply
                  12
                  • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                    "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                    R This user is from outside of this forum
                    R This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #25

                    To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they're ovulating.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    11
                    • D [email protected]

                      Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #26

                      Certainly, m'lady!

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      2
                      • D [email protected]

                        My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                        C This user is from outside of this forum
                        C This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #27

                        Why, thank you, I've just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        5
                        • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                          "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #28

                          Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                          lime@feddit.nuL 1 Reply Last reply
                          39
                          • S [email protected]

                            Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                            lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                            lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #29

                            no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

                            asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA 1 Reply Last reply
                            33
                            • S [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #30

                              "No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!"

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              2
                              • B [email protected]

                                Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                                T This user is from outside of this forum
                                T This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #31

                                Hi. Welcome to the Internet.

                                C 1 Reply Last reply
                                5
                                • S [email protected]

                                  We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                  bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                  #32

                                  That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

                                  S E 2 Replies Last reply
                                  2
                                  • S [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #33

                                    Suckers gonna suck

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • S [email protected]

                                      We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                      washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                                      washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #34

                                      Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.

                                      F 1 Reply Last reply
                                      8
                                      • S [email protected]

                                        We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                        F This user is from outside of this forum
                                        F This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #35

                                        I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        4
                                        • I [email protected]

                                          Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?

                                          D This user is from outside of this forum
                                          D This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                          #36

                                          It's typo progressive for him. He's the "your wife shouldn't get wet" type.

                                          Edit: autocorrect fail in the worst/best way there

                                          O 1 Reply Last reply
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