Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
118 Posts 77 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • G [email protected]

    This must be why the site is still in Beta

    H This user is from outside of this forum
    H This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #18

    I'm surprised they fought the urge to stay alpha forever

    1 Reply Last reply
    3
    • B [email protected]

      No, for that you have to fill her up.

      omniman@anarchist.nexusO This user is from outside of this forum
      omniman@anarchist.nexusO This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #19

      Fill her up with love 🥺👉👈

      A 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • S [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        S This user is from outside of this forum
        S This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #20

        We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

        kolanaki@pawb.socialK bluelinebae@midwest.socialB washedupcynic@lemmy.caW F K 11 Replies Last reply
        174
        • K [email protected]

          That sounds like Strong Bad's alter ego.

          D This user is from outside of this forum
          D This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #21

          The Cheat is vacuuming.

          S 1 Reply Last reply
          14
          • B [email protected]

            What's sad about learning something new and getting laid?

            D This user is from outside of this forum
            D This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #22

            Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

            B 1 Reply Last reply
            9
            • S [email protected]

              We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

              kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
              kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #23

              "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

              R S K 3 Replies Last reply
              58
              • L [email protected]

                Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?

                D This user is from outside of this forum
                D This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #24

                My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                C B 2 Replies Last reply
                12
                • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                  "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #25

                  To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they're ovulating.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  11
                  • D [email protected]

                    Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #26

                    Certainly, m'lady!

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • D [email protected]

                      My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                      C This user is from outside of this forum
                      C This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #27

                      Why, thank you, I've just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      5
                      • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                        "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #28

                        Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                        lime@feddit.nuL 1 Reply Last reply
                        36
                        • S [email protected]

                          Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                          lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                          lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #29

                          no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

                          asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA 1 Reply Last reply
                          30
                          • S [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #30

                            "No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!"

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            2
                            • B [email protected]

                              Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                              T This user is from outside of this forum
                              T This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #31

                              Hi. Welcome to the Internet.

                              C 1 Reply Last reply
                              5
                              • S [email protected]

                                We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                #32

                                That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

                                S E 2 Replies Last reply
                                2
                                • S [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #33

                                  Suckers gonna suck

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                    washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                                    washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #34

                                    Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.

                                    F 1 Reply Last reply
                                    8
                                    • S [email protected]

                                      We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                      F This user is from outside of this forum
                                      F This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #35

                                      I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      4
                                      • I [email protected]

                                        Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?

                                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                        #36

                                        It's typo progressive for him. He's the "your wife shouldn't get wet" type.

                                        Edit: autocorrect fail in the worst/best way there

                                        O 1 Reply Last reply
                                        6
                                        • B [email protected]

                                          Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                                          cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #37

                                          Kids these days don’t remember the internet before /s, where you had to use context to tell of someone was being sarcastic or not.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          4
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups