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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • K [email protected]

    That sounds like Strong Bad's alter ego.

    D This user is from outside of this forum
    D This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #21

    The Cheat is vacuuming.

    S 1 Reply Last reply
    14
    • B [email protected]

      What's sad about learning something new and getting laid?

      D This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #22

      Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

      B 1 Reply Last reply
      9
      • S [email protected]

        We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

        kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
        kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #23

        "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

        R S K 3 Replies Last reply
        58
        • L [email protected]

          Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?

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          wrote last edited by
          #24

          My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

          C B 2 Replies Last reply
          12
          • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

            "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

            R This user is from outside of this forum
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            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #25

            To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they're ovulating.

            1 Reply Last reply
            11
            • D [email protected]

              Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.

              B This user is from outside of this forum
              B This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #26

              Certainly, m'lady!

              1 Reply Last reply
              2
              • D [email protected]

                My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                C This user is from outside of this forum
                C This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #27

                Why, thank you, I've just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.

                1 Reply Last reply
                5
                • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                  "Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."

                  S This user is from outside of this forum
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                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #28

                  Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                  lime@feddit.nuL 1 Reply Last reply
                  36
                  • S [email protected]

                    Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.

                    lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                    lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #29

                    no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

                    asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA 1 Reply Last reply
                    30
                    • S [email protected]
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #30

                      "No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!"

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      2
                      • B [email protected]

                        Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

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                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #31

                        Hi. Welcome to the Internet.

                        C 1 Reply Last reply
                        5
                        • S [email protected]

                          We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                          bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bluelinebae@midwest.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                          #32

                          That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

                          S E 2 Replies Last reply
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                          • S [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #33

                            Suckers gonna suck

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • S [email protected]

                              We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                              washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                              washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #34

                              Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.

                              F 1 Reply Last reply
                              8
                              • S [email protected]

                                We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                                F This user is from outside of this forum
                                F This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #35

                                I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                4
                                • I [email protected]

                                  Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?

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                                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                  #36

                                  It's typo progressive for him. He's the "your wife shouldn't get wet" type.

                                  Edit: autocorrect fail in the worst/best way there

                                  O 1 Reply Last reply
                                  6
                                  • B [email protected]

                                    Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.

                                    cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #37

                                    Kids these days don’t remember the internet before /s, where you had to use context to tell of someone was being sarcastic or not.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    4
                                    • lime@feddit.nuL [email protected]

                                      no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese

                                      asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      asidonhopo@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #38

                                      Nilered did a video on this, it's technically at least cheese-adjacent

                                      https://youtu.be/0aGNAxN5Z-o

                                      lime@feddit.nuL kolanaki@pawb.socialK 2 Replies Last reply
                                      10
                                      • S [email protected]
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #39

                                        I feel sorry for any guy dumb enough to try this. Also my friends mom when i was 13 vacuumed every day and rearranged all furniture and vacuumed behind everything once a week.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • S [email protected]
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #40

                                          Rings true to me. My wife never vacuums and is past menopause.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          10
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