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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • S [email protected]
    This post did not contain any content.
    venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.orgV This user is from outside of this forum
    venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.orgV This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #66

    In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.

    O L 2 Replies Last reply
    56
    • I [email protected]

      TIL I ovulate every Sunday πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

      S This user is from outside of this forum
      S This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #67

      Every day here and I don't even have ovaries!

      ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • D [email protected]

        The Cheat is vacuuming.

        S This user is from outside of this forum
        S This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #68

        The Cheat is ovulating.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • bluelinebae@midwest.socialB [email protected]

          That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.

          E This user is from outside of this forum
          E This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #69

          Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol

          1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • E [email protected]

            Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.

            G This user is from outside of this forum
            G This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #70

            Why not both?

            E 1 Reply Last reply
            5
            • venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.orgV [email protected]

              In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.

              O This user is from outside of this forum
              O This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by [email protected]
              #71

              Yeah i always take stock and usually calm down when a guy im arguing with points that out.

              1 Reply Last reply
              10
              • I [email protected]

                TIL I ovulate every Sunday πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

                O This user is from outside of this forum
                O This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #72

                Where the fuck do you keep all the eggs? Do you have a walk in fridge?

                M 1 Reply Last reply
                5
                • S [email protected]

                  We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  O This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #73

                  My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.

                  dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD I 2 Replies Last reply
                  7
                  • cruxifux@feddit.nlC [email protected]

                    This has to be satire.

                    O This user is from outside of this forum
                    O This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                    #74

                    It's not. This has worked on me four times.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • walk_blessed@piefed.blahaj.zoneW [email protected]

                      I am once again asking lemmy users to check what community they're in before commenting

                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #75

                      You can't really expect consciousness from straight cis men.

                      E 1 Reply Last reply
                      2
                      • D [email protected]

                        It's typo progressive for him. He's the "your wife shouldn't get wet" type.

                        Edit: autocorrect fail in the worst/best way there

                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #76

                        Dont get her wet, don't feed her after midnight. Hes very strict about rules for his wife.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • E [email protected]

                          Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.

                          entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE This user is from outside of this forum
                          entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #77

                          Pretty sure it's a joke.

                          E 1 Reply Last reply
                          16
                          • O [email protected]

                            My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.

                            dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                            dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #78

                            My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can't believe. 10/10 mom and person.

                            O 1 Reply Last reply
                            3
                            • S [email protected]

                              dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                              dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #79

                              Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we're getting hitched.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              8
                              • S [email protected]

                                kilgore_trout@feddit.itK This user is from outside of this forum
                                kilgore_trout@feddit.itK This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #80

                                Bro, plastic cheese…

                                H 1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.orgE [email protected]

                                  Pretty sure it's a joke.

                                  E This user is from outside of this forum
                                  E This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #81

                                  We live in a post irony world and I literally can't tell the difference without knowing the source.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  17
                                  • G [email protected]

                                    Why not both?

                                    E This user is from outside of this forum
                                    E This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #82

                                    Of course, I forgot answer C. All of the above.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    2
                                    • omniman@anarchist.nexusO [email protected]

                                      Fill her up with love πŸ₯ΊπŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ

                                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #83

                                      Few squirts of liquid love

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD [email protected]

                                        My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can't believe. 10/10 mom and person.

                                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                                        O This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #84

                                        This made me cry.

                                        dharmacurious@startrek.websiteD 1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • O [email protected]

                                          Where the fuck do you keep all the eggs? Do you have a walk in fridge?

                                          M This user is from outside of this forum
                                          M This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #85

                                          In europe we store our eggs unrefrigerated

                                          O 1 Reply Last reply
                                          4
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