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  2. Not The Onion
  3. Military Says It Will ‘Continuously’ Monitor Bathrooms to Comply With Anti-Trans Order

Military Says It Will ‘Continuously’ Monitor Bathrooms to Comply With Anti-Trans Order

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Not The Onion
nottheonion
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  • G [email protected]

    Boot camp already has things like group showers and two-to-a-urinal, three-to-a-stall bathroom breaks, not to mention there are already assigned cock-watchers when there are mass piss tests to ensure everyone’s piss is fresh from the source. Everyone’s seen each other naked a hundred times by the time you graduate. Discussion on the matter generally gravitates less toward the smaller guys and more toward whichever lucky soul is hung like a Louisville Slugger.

    Note, this is not in defense of monitored bathrooms, that’s just ridiculous. Just pointing out that this wouldn’t introduce the opportunity for mockery

    F This user is from outside of this forum
    F This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #23

    3 to a stall? How the hell? Anyways, thanks for the info lol

    G 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • B [email protected]

      Penis inspection day is now canon in US Lore

      abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zoneA This user is from outside of this forum
      abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zoneA This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #24

      I wish this wasn't true but it is.

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      • F [email protected]

        3 to a stall? How the hell? Anyways, thanks for the info lol

        G This user is from outside of this forum
        G This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #25

        No problem haha.

        Usually it was one on each side pissing kinda diagonally, about 4 and 8 o’clock, assuming the wall behind the toilet was 12, then one pissing normally at the 6 o’clock position. It helped that the stalls didn’t have any doors 😅 it was definitely close quarters, but it helped us develop our sword-fighting skills

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        • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          thann@lemmy.dbzer0.comT This user is from outside of this forum
          thann@lemmy.dbzer0.comT This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #26

          PENIS POLICE! GET YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND!

          1 Reply Last reply
          3
          • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            C This user is from outside of this forum
            C This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #27

            It's scary this will not be the stupidest thing that I read today.

            L 1 Reply Last reply
            4
            • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              F This user is from outside of this forum
              F This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #28

              Soldiers are going to stand outside bathrooms to check for budgie smugglers? That's a bit extreme.

              Just tell them there's oil in the middle east. That'll get them out of your road.

              1 Reply Last reply
              3
              • vk6flab@lemmy.radioV [email protected]

                Wow, nothing quite like solving the big issues in life.

                F This user is from outside of this forum
                F This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #29

                If Donald goes to the bathroom, they'll be solving the small issues

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                0
                • C [email protected]

                  It's scary this will not be the stupidest thing that I read today.

                  L This user is from outside of this forum
                  L This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #30

                  We live in the dumbest timeline.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    klu9@piefed.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                    klu9@piefed.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #31

                    Don't you feel great again, America?

                    S 1 Reply Last reply
                    5
                    • B [email protected]

                      Penis inspection day is now canon in US Lore

                      m0op0o@mander.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
                      m0op0o@mander.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #32

                      Well that and "lack" of Penis inspection day next door as well.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • klu9@piefed.socialK [email protected]

                        Don't you feel great again, America?

                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #33

                        No. Send help

                        I possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP 2 Replies Last reply
                        3
                        • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          O This user is from outside of this forum
                          O This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #34

                          Pete wants to see your dingle

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • T [email protected]

                            Obviously, it would be a position for a private contractor who gets paid more than any enlisted service member bc of a no-bid contract.

                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #35

                            Goddamnit that’s entirely accurate. They replaced the -room inspections- with civilians on the base I was on when processing out, and they expected white glove every single day.

                            lol fuck that. White glove is special event/booter cleaning; eat my whole ass.

                            T 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • D This user is from outside of this forum
                              D This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #36

                              they're growers now show-ers? have a little sympathy

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • S [email protected]

                                No. Send help

                                I This user is from outside of this forum
                                I This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #37

                                Unfortunately there isn't a lot of help available. American's are going to have to clean up their own house.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #38

                                  US Army facing combat: _______

                                  US Army when a penis is used in a women's stall: AAAAAAHHHHH! They have their cock out behind a closed stall and just using the bathroom like anyone else! RUN AWAY!

                                  Penis Panickers.

                                  possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP 1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • B [email protected]

                                    Goddamnit that’s entirely accurate. They replaced the -room inspections- with civilians on the base I was on when processing out, and they expected white glove every single day.

                                    lol fuck that. White glove is special event/booter cleaning; eat my whole ass.

                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #39

                                    I speak from experience. I was in Afghanistan and the companies that provide laundry services or food were just making insane amounts.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    2
                                    • T [email protected]

                                      US Army facing combat: _______

                                      US Army when a penis is used in a women's stall: AAAAAAHHHHH! They have their cock out behind a closed stall and just using the bathroom like anyone else! RUN AWAY!

                                      Penis Panickers.

                                      possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #40

                                      White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • S [email protected]

                                        No. Send help

                                        possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #41

                                        Don't worry Russia has got our back

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • W [email protected]

                                          Maybe they just love penis

                                          possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #42

                                          Porn and sex toys are fairly popular in the bible belt

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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