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  2. Not The Onion
  3. Military Says It Will ‘Continuously’ Monitor Bathrooms to Comply With Anti-Trans Order

Military Says It Will ‘Continuously’ Monitor Bathrooms to Comply With Anti-Trans Order

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nottheonion
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  • G [email protected]

    Boot camp already has things like group showers and two-to-a-urinal, three-to-a-stall bathroom breaks, not to mention there are already assigned cock-watchers when there are mass piss tests to ensure everyone’s piss is fresh from the source. Everyone’s seen each other naked a hundred times by the time you graduate. Discussion on the matter generally gravitates less toward the smaller guys and more toward whichever lucky soul is hung like a Louisville Slugger.

    Note, this is not in defense of monitored bathrooms, that’s just ridiculous. Just pointing out that this wouldn’t introduce the opportunity for mockery

    D This user is from outside of this forum
    D This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by [email protected]
    #21

    I NeEd To SeE tHe PiSs LeAviNg ThE bOdY!

    fucking peter gazers

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    • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      A This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #22

      I’m going to piss on your monitoring system.

      1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • G [email protected]

        Boot camp already has things like group showers and two-to-a-urinal, three-to-a-stall bathroom breaks, not to mention there are already assigned cock-watchers when there are mass piss tests to ensure everyone’s piss is fresh from the source. Everyone’s seen each other naked a hundred times by the time you graduate. Discussion on the matter generally gravitates less toward the smaller guys and more toward whichever lucky soul is hung like a Louisville Slugger.

        Note, this is not in defense of monitored bathrooms, that’s just ridiculous. Just pointing out that this wouldn’t introduce the opportunity for mockery

        F This user is from outside of this forum
        F This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #23

        3 to a stall? How the hell? Anyways, thanks for the info lol

        G 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • B [email protected]

          Penis inspection day is now canon in US Lore

          abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zoneA This user is from outside of this forum
          abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zoneA This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #24

          I wish this wasn't true but it is.

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          • F [email protected]

            3 to a stall? How the hell? Anyways, thanks for the info lol

            G This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #25

            No problem haha.

            Usually it was one on each side pissing kinda diagonally, about 4 and 8 o’clock, assuming the wall behind the toilet was 12, then one pissing normally at the 6 o’clock position. It helped that the stalls didn’t have any doors 😅 it was definitely close quarters, but it helped us develop our sword-fighting skills

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            • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
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              thann@lemmy.dbzer0.comT This user is from outside of this forum
              thann@lemmy.dbzer0.comT This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #26

              PENIS POLICE! GET YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND!

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              • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
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                wrote last edited by
                #27

                It's scary this will not be the stupidest thing that I read today.

                L 1 Reply Last reply
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                • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #28

                  Soldiers are going to stand outside bathrooms to check for budgie smugglers? That's a bit extreme.

                  Just tell them there's oil in the middle east. That'll get them out of your road.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • vk6flab@lemmy.radioV [email protected]

                    Wow, nothing quite like solving the big issues in life.

                    F This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #29

                    If Donald goes to the bathroom, they'll be solving the small issues

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                    • C [email protected]

                      It's scary this will not be the stupidest thing that I read today.

                      L This user is from outside of this forum
                      L This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #30

                      We live in the dumbest timeline.

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                      1
                      • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
                        This post did not contain any content.
                        klu9@piefed.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                        klu9@piefed.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #31

                        Don't you feel great again, America?

                        S 1 Reply Last reply
                        5
                        • B [email protected]

                          Penis inspection day is now canon in US Lore

                          m0op0o@mander.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
                          m0op0o@mander.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #32

                          Well that and "lack" of Penis inspection day next door as well.

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                          0
                          • klu9@piefed.socialK [email protected]

                            Don't you feel great again, America?

                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #33

                            No. Send help

                            I possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP 2 Replies Last reply
                            3
                            • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              O This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #34

                              Pete wants to see your dingle

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                              0
                              • T [email protected]

                                Obviously, it would be a position for a private contractor who gets paid more than any enlisted service member bc of a no-bid contract.

                                B This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #35

                                Goddamnit that’s entirely accurate. They replaced the -room inspections- with civilians on the base I was on when processing out, and they expected white glove every single day.

                                lol fuck that. White glove is special event/booter cleaning; eat my whole ass.

                                T 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • D This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #36

                                  they're growers now show-ers? have a little sympathy

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                                  0
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    No. Send help

                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #37

                                    Unfortunately there isn't a lot of help available. American's are going to have to clean up their own house.

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                                    1
                                    • m0op0o@mander.xyzM [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      T This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #38

                                      US Army facing combat: _______

                                      US Army when a penis is used in a women's stall: AAAAAAHHHHH! They have their cock out behind a closed stall and just using the bathroom like anyone else! RUN AWAY!

                                      Penis Panickers.

                                      possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • B [email protected]

                                        Goddamnit that’s entirely accurate. They replaced the -room inspections- with civilians on the base I was on when processing out, and they expected white glove every single day.

                                        lol fuck that. White glove is special event/booter cleaning; eat my whole ass.

                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #39

                                        I speak from experience. I was in Afghanistan and the companies that provide laundry services or food were just making insane amounts.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        2
                                        • T [email protected]

                                          US Army facing combat: _______

                                          US Army when a penis is used in a women's stall: AAAAAAHHHHH! They have their cock out behind a closed stall and just using the bathroom like anyone else! RUN AWAY!

                                          Penis Panickers.

                                          possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          possiblylinux127@lemmy.zipP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #40

                                          White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off

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